Third Time Lucky
by ElizabethAlbany
Summary: Okay, this is my version of season 6. I will explain everything in the story. It's Jax/OC and I am definitely going to rate it M/M . Please read and review. :-)
1. Chapter 1

"_**Third Time Lucky"**_

So this is an idea I've been kicking around for awhile. Haven't written fan fiction in a really long time. But I miss it and I'm gonna give it another whirl. It's a long one, though, so I think I'll break it up into chapters. It takes place one month post – "J'ai Obtenu Cette" (the season 5 finale). I'll fill in all the details, with very little about the drugs and guns, etc. Thanks for reading.

"I THINK IT'S for the best."

Jackson Teller just kept hearing her say that phrase over and over in his head. Even as one of the guards at the jail in Charming, California made him raise his arms to check for weapons, these were the only words going through his head. The guard looked at the papers he retrieved from Jax's cut and gave him a knowing look. One of understanding, of pity. Jax sighed to himself, having been resigned to the fact that a lot of people looked at him that way lately.

How could they not? With everything that had happened, he didn't blame them one bit. First, his step-father was arrested for murder after his gun was found at the crim scene where Damon Pope was murdered. Then, in an ironic twist, Clay Morrow had given the local cops information about Jax's wife, Tara Knowles, about her involvment with a nurse's murder at Stockton State Correctional. Information that was given to him by his wife, Jax's mother, Gemma Teller Morrow. She had mentioned it in passing to him when she was following Jax's orders to get closer to Clay, so that she could get her family back.

Before he could get to a hearing, however, Clay Morrow had been stabbed to death in jail. They had had the funeral a few days after. Ever since then, things between certain brothers of SAMCRO were strained. Bobby Munson had stepped down as Jax's Vice-President and had taken off for parts unknown. Juan-Carlos "Juice" Ortiz had done the same. He hadn't removed his patch, but had taken off, Clay's death hitting him hard. Jax didn't blame either of them. He knew they would be back – the brotherhood meant too much to both of them, just as it did to him. So much so that his marriage was over.

He had visited his wife, Tara, in the jail as often as he possibly could. Only a few days ago she had handed him these papers and told him it would be for the best. Apparently, it had been Ally Lowen, their lawyer's, idea. Now that Clay was dead and Otto Delaney had bitten his tongue off so that he _couldn't_ talk to anyone, the story that Tara was a willing participant in the nurse's murder couldn't be corroborated. Therefore, she would be getting released. But this time in jail was enough to make her snap.

"I've had enough, Jax. This is what needs to be done. And if you give me any trouble about Thomas… Well, I don't think you want more trouble from law enforcement right now, do you?"

That was how they had left three days ago. Since then, Jax had taken the papers home and stared at them. He hadn't been sure what to think. Even his mother was remaining tight-lipped about this, which wasn't like her. Probably because she saw how much her son was hurting. The only thing she had said was that she knew Tara had never forgiven any of them for what had happened to her hand, thereby derailing her medical career. Jax was inclined to agree.

But the biggest form of support had come from Nero Padilla, his mother's current boyfriend and SAMCRO's business partner. Jax didn't know how he would have gotten through this past month without him.

"Alright Teller, go ahead."

Gee thanks, Jax said, as he walked into the visiting room he knew so well. He waited for Tara to come out. It only took a moment for her to do so, wearing the official orange jumpsuit, her dark hair up in a ponytail. He had to admit she looked better today than he had seen her look this entire time. She sat down across from him.

"Hey."

All Jax could do was nod as he produced the papers and set them down in front of her. She glanced at them, knowing that he had in fact signed them. But Ally said this was the best way to distance herself from the charges and from the club. An annulment of their marriage.

Jax swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, not saying anything.

"Thanks for this.", She said, avoiding his eyes. He knew why. If he had done what she was doing right now, he wouldn't be able to meet her eyes either.

"I'm getting out a week from today."

That got his attention. So this whole thing was really going to work. Getting the annulment, having the charges dropped… She was going to take their son to Portland, Oregon and start her now residency at the hospital there.

Gemma had already given her son a rash of shit about letting Tara take their child. But Jax told her it would be in everyone's best interest right now. He would fight to get custody of Thomas as soon as things cooled down a little more. Mainly, Tara's temper. Even though she claimed she was over it.

When they had talked a few days ago, she assured him she was over it all. That she had forgiven him for everything. Jax didn't believe a word of it. Deep down, she harbored terrible feelings for him, for the club, for everything. That's why she was doing what she was doing. And right now, Jax just didn't have the strength to stop her.

"Aren't you gonna say anything?"

He looked at her then and she was looking back at him, finally. "What do you want me to say, Tara? Good luck? Happy trails?"

Tara sighed. "No. I just want you to say something. Anything."

Jax sat back, wishing like hell that he could have a cigarette. "I've got nothing to say. It's already been said. You're getting what you want. For now."

She narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?" He didn't answer. She knew what it meant and he wasn't about to tell her here, of all places.

So he stood, preparing to leave.

"I still love you, Jax.", She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

He scoffed and shook his head. "But that was never enough for you, was it?" And then he was gone.

TEN DAYS LATER, Jax found himself awake at six a.m. It was just himself and his five-year-old son Abel in the house now and it was strange. He missed Thomas, more than words could possibly say. And he would figure out a way to get him back. But at least he was young enough now that when he was older, he wouldn't remember any of this bullshit.

At seven-thirty, his mother arrived.

"Hey baby.", She greeted him, with a kiss on the cheek. Jax nodded, finishing his cup of coffee.

"I'm going for a ride and then to Nero's to check on things. I'll be back later." Gemma nodded knowingly, setting her purse down and going into the living room to play with Abel.

Jax got onto his motorcycle and strapped on his helmet. This was the only time he didn't feel the weight of the world on his shoulders, when he was riding.

On his way out of town, he had to stop for a school bus picking up passangers on their way to school. His head snapped up when he saw Ellie and Harry Winston getting onto the bus in front of a house he didn't recognize.

Ever since his best friend, Harry "Opie" Winston had been brutally beaten to death in prison, his wife had been taking care of his two children from his first marriage. But this was nowhere near Lyla Winston's house. Besides, she worked for Nero, which meant that was probably where she was. What the hell is going on here, he thought.

When the school bus was gone, he pulled his bike over and turned it off, removing his helmet.

The house was cute, a one-story ranch style, white with black shudders. A nice backyard, a few trees, a driveway with a beat-up minivan parked there. His curiosity was definitely piqued now. So he glanced around to make sure that he wouldn't look suspicious to anyone and then tried the front door. It was unlocked.

The front door opened to a living room with rather old carpeting. There was a television on the left and two love seats for seating. A desk sat against the front window, with a computer and a lamp. The kitchen was to the right, it looked to be galley-style. It led out to the backyard. There was a small hallway to the left, where Jax assumed the bedrooms were. And the bathroom, since that's where he heard the running water. He took slow and steady steps toward the sound, easing the door open, his gun at the ready just in case. Then he exhaled a breath and left the gun in its place.

Behind the shower curtain, he saw a woman, showering. And for some reason unknown to him, he was frozen in his spot. Who the hell was this woman? What was she doing with his god children? The water turned off right at that moment and she pulled the curtain back.

"Jax Teller. It's been a long time. Think you could hand me a towel?" ~~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

DEEP DOWN, SHE had known he would come. She had known he would find out that she was here sooner or later. But she had really been hoping it would be later. Typical, she thought. That just wasn't her luck.

She didn't mind standing here, dripping wet, naked, in front of him. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before. And truth be told, she didn't really have any shame left. Not after everything she had been through in her life.

"Seriously. I could cut glass over here."

By the look on his face, he had noticed that as well. So he reached to his right, as she had asked a moment ago and grabbed a towel. He handed it to her and she took it, proceeding to wipe herself off a little before stepping onto the green bathmat.

"How'd you find me?"

Jax shook his head, still not being able to form words. Which was ridiculous, he was a grown man, he should be able to at least utter something. But nothing was coming out. Not a damn thing.

She went across the hall to her bedroom, assuming he would follow her. She was correct. So she held the towel tight as she began brushing her hair.

"Never knew you to be at a loss for words, Jax. What an interesting surprise."

She finished brushing and, holding the towel in place with her armpits, began applying lotion. She raised one leg up on the bed and then the other, before turning to face him again. Still not a word. So she slipped on a pair of underwear and a decent bra, then a t-shirt and some jeans. She walked back into the bathroom, preparing to dry her hair.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

There was no malice in his voice, no meanness, just utter confusion. And it was a valid question. She hadn't been back to Charming in ten years. For all anyone had known she was dead. She wasn't of course and the most important people had known that.

Before answering his question, however, she decided she had to dry her hair before it frizzed out. So she turned it on, curtailing any further questioning for the moment. Jax sighed, backing out of the room and going back into the living room.

She had pictures on the wall that he hadn't noticed when he first came in. One was of her parents the day they got married, a very long time ago. Another was of Opie, Donna and the kids. Another was of Opie, Lyla and their kids at their wedding. Another was of her high school graduation. She was standing with Opie, smiling.

It had been ten years since he'd seen Shea Winston. Ten years since she had graduated from high school and left Charming for good. She had followed her high school boyfriend, Joey, to wherever it was that he had gone to. Whenever Jax had tried to ask Opie about it, he would change the subject, so Jax had dropped it.

The hair dryer shut off then and she came into the living room. He gave her the once over and nodded his head slightly in approval. She looked good. She still had the same reddish blond hair as Opie and her father, the same hazel eyes and the same smile he remembered.

"It's been ten years."

Could you sound any stupider, he asked himself. What was the matter with him today? Too much shit going on, that's what, an inner voice said. His brain was fried and that's all there was to it.

"Yeah, thought I'd come back for my high school reunion."

She thought that would at least get him to crack a smile. She was wrong. So she sighed and crossed the room, sitting down on the couch.

"Guess you have a lot of questions."

Jax nodded, sitting on the opposite couch and lighting a cigarette. He was hoping it would make him feel better. It didn't.

"I've been back for a couple weeks. I didn't want you to know until I was more settled. Lyla knows. The kids live here with me, Jax."

He took another drag and sat back. Why hadn't he been informed of any of this? He supposed it was because he had enough shit on his plate to deal with. But Shea coming back wasn't a bad thing, not at all. It was just a shock to his system.

"So what do you wanna know?"

Jax finished his cigarette and got up to throw away the butt. When he returned to the couch, Shea had put her feet underneath her and was looking up at him with those hazel eyes he remembered so well. God but she was beautiful.

Just as he was about to ask something, to begin an inquisition that was a long-time coming, his prepaid cell phone began ringing.

"Yeah?"

He listened for a moment and then said, "I'll be right there." Nero needed him for something. Jax slipped the phone back into his pocket and stood up.

"Guess we'll have this discussion later.", She said, standing up as well.

Jax reached the front door and muttered, "You bet your ass we will."

She followed him outside to his bike, her arms folded across her chest. Jax got onto his bike and looked at her, into her eyes. All Shea could say was, "They're all I have left, Jax."

HE REACHED THE business a little bit later and walked in. Nero was waiting for him.

"Got some shit I need to talk to you about. Didn't pull you away from anything, did I?"

Jax shook his head. "Nope, we're good. Let's get down to business. I've got some things to discuss with Lyla."

SHEA TOOK A deep breath and then knocked on the door. A moment later, Gemma answered and Shea swore that she was could have fallen over.

"Well I'll be God-damned."


	3. Chapter 3

Gemma pulled her into a hug. Gemma was her godmother and Shea had always loved her. True, her mother Mary and Gemma hadn't really had the best relationship, but when Mary had taken off for all those years, Gemma had practically raised Shea and Opie.

"Get your ass in here, girl."

Gemma closed the door behind her and walked into the home. It smells like him, she thought, smiling to herself. Jax had always worn a certain cologne, had since high school. She would always know that smell because of that.

"When did you get back to town?"

Shea sighed, knowing that Gemma wasn't going to like this answer. "A couple weeks ago."

Gemma sat back in the chair at the kitchen table and searched her god daughter's eyes. Before she could say anything, Abel was in the kitchen.

"Hey sweetie, did you want a snack?"

Abel nodded and Gemma got him some Goldfish crackers out of the cupboard. He smiled and thanked her softly, casting a glance at Shea on his way back into the living room, where he was coloring.

"That's Abel. My pride and joy."

Shea could tell that. When Gemma loved someone, she loved them hard. Something she had always respected about her. Jax was the same way, Shea knew. That's why this must have been so hard for him. Lyla had been very forthcoming about everything that had happened recently.

"She took his other son?"

Gemma lit up a cigarette and nodded. "God damn bitch. We did so much for her. And this is how she repays us."

Shea could understand that. She had always felt a loyalty to this club that she couldn't explain. She could also understood why Tara had lost it, if what Lyla said had been true. That was the shitty part about being a Libra, she saw both sides to everything.

"We'll get him back."

Shea had no doubt that Gemma would do whatever it took to get her grandson back. She didn't blame her. That was why Shea had returned home after all, to take care of her family. It had killed her that she couldn't be here to bury her father or brother. But that was the nature of the beast, she supposed.

"So, you wanna tell me what the hell you've been doing for ten years?"

Shea smiled and shook her head. "How much time do we have?"

JAX FOUND HER in a back room and she could tell immediately that he had something to say to her. So she excused herself from getting her makeup done and walked over to stand beside him in the doorway.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Lyla sighed. "She asked me not to. Said she wanted to get her head on straight, get things settled before she saw you again."

Jax could understand that, feeling the need to get your shit together. He was feeling a little bit of that himself right now. But he had so many questions. Where had she gone? Why hadn't she been back since now, especially when Piney and Opie died? Why now?

"You guys have a history?"

Jax pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He exhaled smoke and shook his head. "I don't really know if you could call it that. She's my best friend's little sister."

Lyla raised her eyebrows. "Was that all she was, Jax?"

He didn't say anything.

"I know you're hurting right now, Jax. Anyone in your position would be. But she's gone and we've all got lives to lead, right? And when Shea said she wanted to help raise the kids, who was I to turn her down? You know I was having trouble taking care of all four of us…"

Jax had known that as soon as Opie had died. Lyla definitely couldn't support three kids on just her salary, that's why he had offered her any help she needed. But Shea being back changed everything.

"They seem happy to have her back. And she says she wants to give them some sense of normalcy that I can't. I don't blame her."

Jax didn't blame her either. That's all he had ever wanted for his boys and for himself and Tara. Look how well that turned, he thought bitterly.

"Jax, I gotta get back to work…"

Jax nodded, finishing his cigarette. "Okay, sorry. And I understand about you not telling me, Lyla. It's fine."

Lyla smiled and walked away from him. Then Jax took a look around before leaving as well.

SHEA GLANCED AT the clock to see that the kids would be home from school in an hour or so. Just enough time to vacuum the living room and decide what she was going to make for dinner tonight.

It seemed so strange to have this life for herself now, after the past six months. She could breathe easy and actually smile to herself. She was going to take care of niece and nephew. She was home.

"Can I come in?"

She looked up and nodded, not at all surprised that he was back. He came in, closing the screen door but leaving the regular door open.

"It's a nice place."

Shea looked around and smiled. "Yeah, I liked it when I looked at it and the kids like it too. There's plenty of room in the backyard for a dog. I think we're gonna get a puppy this weekend."

Jax couldn't help but smile at that. Harry and Ellie would love that. Shea gestured for him to take a seat and he did. They sat in the exact same positions they had earlier in the morning.

"You wanna get this out of the way before the kids come home?"


	4. Chapter 4

Shea nodded and leaned forward. "If we're gonna talk about this, I need a cigarette."

Jax reached into his pocket and pulled one out for her, lighting it as well. As he did, it sparked a memory of that night ten years ago, when Shea had graduated from high school. It had all started when he had lit her cigarette at her graduation party.

"I followed Joey to New York."

She exhaled and shook her head. "Not the city, upstate. It was nice, quiet. At least at first. We got married."

She shifted positions.

"Then we got divorced because he got violent."

A muscle ticked in Jax's jaw, thinking of anyone putting their hands on her. Opie would have flipped shit if he had known about any of that. He would have been on the first plane to New York to bring his sister home.

"Even after the divorce, Joey and I kept seeing each other. He was part of an MC up there, the Executioners. I think once he got patched in, things might be different. I thought he would be happier and things would be better. I was so stupid. So god damned stupid. But that didn't stop me from marrying him again."

Jax said nothing.

"It was ridiculous. A month after we got remarried, the police are busting down my door. Got arrested for possession. Did six months."

Another muscle ticked. She did time for this asshole too? For Christ's sake.

"Divorced him while I was still inside. Told him that I would tell the authorities everything if he didn't give me half of the money from the deal that I got busted for. He agreed. That's how I could afford to come here and rent this house and start taking care of my niece and nephew. I'm looking for a job. They're all I have left."

She had said that to him earlier as well. That must have meant that her mother…

"Dead.", She said, as if reading his mind. "Heart attack a year ago. Pop and Ope knew, guess they just didn't wanna share."

She finished her cigarette and put it in the ashtray that was on the coffee table.

"Well, you're all caught up."

He was rendered speechless yet again. No one had ever had this affect on him before. He wasn't sure if it was because of all the shit that had gone down in his life, leaving him in an emotional state that he wasn't used to. Or if it was seeing her again and the memories she had stirred up in him. Memories that had been long-since buried.

"What are you thinking?"

There had been a time in their lives when Shea would have been able to tell what he was thinking just by looking in his eyes. She had spent so much time looking into them that it would have been easy. He was her older brother's best friend for as long as she could remember. But sometime around the time she had turned fifteen, she had started seeing Jax differently.

He was eighteen, a man of the world, working his way into the Sons of Anarchy. Stubborn, generous and absolutely gorgeous. But he hadn't known she was alive. At least, not until the night she had graduated from high school.

They had a big party for her at the clubhouse. She had worn a brand new dress she had bought for just that occasion. Jax noticed. It had shocked her because she was sure that he was still pining away for Tara, and he was. But she was beyond the point of caring.

They had been outside to get some air. She asked Jax for a cigarette, he had given her one, lit it and then she had told him she was following Joey to New York. But only after she had one night with Jax Teller. And what a night it had been.

"Your silence is deafening."

He had no doubt that was true. He just didn't know what to say.

"I'm really sorry about Tara. Can't say I'm surprised… but I'm sorry."

He took a long drag off of his second cigarette and exhaled. She wasn't surprised, huh? Well, he sure as hell had been. Then again, Gemma had predicted this years ago. Many years ago.

"Do you wanna come over for dinner tomorrow night, Jax? I think the kids would really like it. Bring Abel. Bring your Mom. Anyone you want to."

Jax stood up, knowing the kids would be home from school any minute. And he wanted to get home to Abel as well.

"Actually, tomorrow night we're having a family dinner at my Mom's house. Bring the kids."

Author's Note: Thank you everyone sooooo much for reviewing and following and favorit-ing. :-) I can't tell you how much you guys inspire me and keep me going. I took a long break from writing and you guys make it so enjoyable and so easy for me to jump right back in. I hope you continue to like this story and like the characters and the plot lines. There is much more to come, I can promise you that. I can't seem to STOP writing this. :-) So again, thank you. You guys mean the world to me. 3


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: You guys are absolutely incredible readers and reviewers! I just couldn't and wouldn't be able to continue on with this if I didn't have your support. Thank you so much. Oh, and I received a review from a reader about Opie's kids. Let's just say that honesty is the best policy in this fan fiction and that they know about Opie and Piney (maybe not ALL the details, but the gist). Okay, that's it. Thanks again! :-)

THE MORE HE thought about it, the more he wasn't sure if this family dinner was such a good idea. He was starting to have second thoughts. It had actually been Gemma's idea. She wanted everyone to get together at her house and have dinner, drink some wine, relax… the way they used to.

Jax sighed as he approached his mother's house. So many memories here, he thought, looking at the house his mother had shared with Clay for a large chunk of Jax's life. So much had changed in the past five years. He wasn't quite sure how to wrap his head around any of it.

"It'll be okay."

He turned around and shot his mother a small smile. She was holding Abel's hand and he was smiling as well. "Yeah Daddy, it'll be fun!"

His son's smile was contagious and Jax felt himself smile as well. He was glad he was going to take Abel and go to Portland this weekend to visit Thomas.

"Come on baby."

Jax watched his mother lead his son inside and took a breath. Alright, he thought. My turn. So he followed them inside and was immediately accosted by the familiar scent of the house. His mother had always lit candles, so it always smelled like something was baking.

He saw Tig Trager standing at the bar, getting a beer from Filthy Phil. Phil saw Jax and grabbed him one as well, removing the cap before handing him the bottle.

"Guys.", He greeted them. Both men nodded as a hello.

Jax took a swig of his beer and looked at them. "I wanna have a quick meeting before the party, alright? Five minutes."

He walked toward the living room, where the hallway that led to the back bedrooms was. That was where they would have this one meeting. Jax had been preparing what he wanted to say ever since this morning. Who was he kidding? These were things he had been wanting to say for months.

When Abel went to bed at night, he got out his father's journals and read them and re-read them. He wasn't sure why. It was a piece of the past, maybe, a past that his father had been a part of. A past that meant something to Jax. And now, more than ever, his father's words meant something to him too.

"Hey brother."

He looked up and couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. Bobby stood there, wearing his cut, nodding his head. Jax embraced the older man in a hug and they stayed like that for a few minutes.

"I am so glad you're back."

Bobby nodded, not really wanting to let go. He thought of Jax as a son. Leaving had been hard, but he had needed the time away. His best friend had died, he had turned his VP patch in and he needed some time to think. That time was over. He knew his club needed him now. He knew Jax needed him now.

"I'm here, brother. I'll always be here."

Jax knew he was telling the truth when he said that. Everyone needed time away and Bobby had taken it. Jax wished he could have taken time away after he had lost his best friend. But he had a club to run and children to raise. And, back then, he had had a wife to think of too.

"You wanted to have a meeting?"

Jax nodded, backing away from the hug and looking out the window.

"Yeah, I've, uh, got a few things I wanted to say before the party tonight."

His brothers began to filter into the living room. Music was playing from the stereo wired into the kitchen. His mother, Lyla and some of Nero's girls were cooking in the kitchen.

"Any time you're ready, Jax…", Chibs Telford said, in his Irish accent. Jax nodded toward the back bedroom. He went into the kitchen.

"We're gonna have a few words before dinner. Alright?"

Gemma looked up and nodded slowly. "Okay… Everything okay, sweetheart?" Jax nodded, following the rest of his brethren into the back bedroom. Just as he was about to shut the door, someone stopped him.

"Wait for me."

Jax couldn't believe it. Juice stood there, swallowed a lump in his throat and then extended his hand. Jax exhaled and shook his hand, welcoming him back. Then he closed the door. Everyone stood around the big bedroom, waiting for someone to speak.

"I know that things are not where we thought they were gonna be. We've lost a lot of people along the way. People we never thought we'd lose. But this is where we find ourselves, guys. Making money, legitimate money. Not having the cops breathing down our necks. Not having to worry about RICO or the IRA or…" He could have rattled off a list a mile long if he had wanted to, but he knew they got the point.

"When I took the President's position, I never thought I would have to stand here like this and talk about Opie and Clay in the past tense. But I have to. Because despite the fact that they're gone, we're still here. And we're still brothers. And we have to move on with our lives the best that we can. Some of us needed time to deal with that and the rest of us did what we could to survive. Just like we always have. Just like I think we always will. If you guys are behind me."

He felt tears in his eyes, but would not let them fall. Not here, not right now. He had to stay strong for these men. He was their leader and he would do everything he could to put on a brave front. Vulnerability was not an option in this room. Not for him.

"We'll get through it, Jackie Boy. We will.", Said Chibs, stepping forward to embrace him in a hug.

There was a knock on the door then and Gemma peaked her head in. "Uh, guys, just wanted to let you know that dinner is ready…"

Jax turned to his brothers and said, with a smile, "Let's eat."

Another Author's Note: Some parts are going to be longer than others, just to warn you. Thank you. :-)


	6. Chapter 6

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You guys are so amazing, I can't even put it into words! Your encouragement and reviews mean the world to me! I am so glad you are still liking it and still reading it and still reviewing it. Much LOVE to all of you! Thank you so much! 3 3

SHEA LET THE kids run ahead of her into the house. They were really excited about being here and she was too. She hadn't been to one of these family dinners in over a decade. She used to love them when she was younger. Actually feeling like part of a family, the kind you saw on television or something. Except with leather and guns.

When she walked in, she immediately recognized the smell. Gemma always had a candle burning that smelled like cookies or pumpkin pie. It was comforting.

She wasn't sure how to dress for one of these dinners. The last time she had attended had been as a teenager trying to get Jax Teller's attention. Now she was a grown woman, trying to raise two children by herself.

"Well I'll be God damned."

Wow, she thought, not the first time I've heard that since I've been back. But she embraced Chibs with a smile and fought to keep air in her lungs as he hugged her tight. She had known that most of these men considered her to be like a daughter, because she was Piney's daughter and Opie's sister.

"My turn, brother."

Shea laughed and hugged Bobby too. Tig was next in line. Then Gemma pushed all the men out of the way and pulled her close. "I'm glad you came." Shea smiled and said, "Me too."

She looked up and locked eyes with Jax. He was sitting at the head of the dining room table, eating a dinner roll and sipping his beer. She flashed him a smile. He returned it.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU tell us Shea was back in town?"

Jax shrugged as he, Bobby and Tig stood in the kitchen, having offered to do the dishes so that the women could relax after making such a huge meal.

"Said she wanted to get her head on straight first. Thought I'd give her some time to do that. I didn't know either."

Talking about her, Jax let his gaze wander out into the living room, where Shea was sitting on the couch with his mother. They were each having a cigarette and enjoying a drink, watching a movie with Ellie and Harry. Abel had gone to bed half an hour ago.

She had her legs crossed and was leaning in toward his mother, giving Jax an excellent view of her backside. Blue jeans were absolutely made for her. And he had always loved her hair, the color of it, the feel of it. He wondered if it still felt the same… As if she sensed something, she turned just then and caught him looking at her. All she could do was smile.

"HAVE I TOLD you how glad I am that you're back in town, sweetheart?"

Shea laughed. "Yes, I think you've mentioned it a few times. I am too, Gemma." She squeezed her God-mother's hand. She really was glad to see this woman again. She had been like a mother to her, when her own mother didn't want to be.

She noticed that Harry was starting to rub his eyes, so she stood. "Guess we should be getting home, huh?"

Harry and Ellie stood up and each stifled a yawn, signaling to Shea that it was in fact time to go. She followed the kids into the kitchen, where Tig pulled her in for another hug. She could only imagine how hard it had been for him to lose Dawn the way he did.

"Don't be a stranger, honey."

Shea smiled, squeezing him tight. "I won't Tig, promise."

Ellie and Harry were out the door and almost to the car. Shea turned around and smiled at Jax.

"Thanks for the invite tonight. We had a lot of fun."

Jax nodded, drying his hands on a dishtowel. "Welcome home, Shea Winston."

She grinned and said, "It's good to be home, Jax." And then she was gone.

Pretty soon, everyone had gone, and the only two left were Jax and Gemma. He sat down beside his mother on the couch, occupying the space where Shea had been and leaned his head back against the cushion. He closed his eyes and exhaled a breath. This is what his life had turned into. A series of inhaling and exhaling breaths, just trying to get through the days. He sure as hell hoped it got easier.

"I think it went well, don't you?"

Nero hadn't shown up tonight because Gemma didn't want to push him onto the club. They were cool with him as a business partner, but she was taking their relationship slowly. Especially around certain members of the club, like Tig and Juice.

"Yeah. I'm glad we did it. I think we're…on a good road. At least for the moment."

Gemma reached out and took her son's hand, squeezing it. "Yeah, we are. Let's enjoy it, huh?"

Jax smiled and nodded, closing his eyes again.

"She looks good, huh?"

Jax looked at her. "Yeah, she does. But right now, Ma, I hate women."

Gemma couldn't help it – she laughed. She didn't blame him for that. After all that he had been through. Gemma hated women too sometimes. Bitches.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed. Do you mind if I crash here with Abel?"

Jax stood as Gemma shook her head. "Of course not. There's plenty of room."

Jax stretched and then reached out to wrap his mother in a hug.

"Thanks Mom. For everything."

Gemma hugged her son tight. "Thank you baby. For everything."

As he was walking back toward a guest room, Gemma called out, "Are you gonna invite her over again?"

SHEA STARED UP at the ceiling, not being able to fall asleep. She kept seeing his eyes in her mind. She kept seeing him watch her. She had felt him watching her. And it felt damn good. Amazing how, even after all these years, he could still give her chills with one look. She had missed that. She had missed him. She had missed this town that she called home.

But she was home now and she wasn't leaving again. Not when the only people she had ever loved in the world were here in Charming. This was where she belonged. And maybe this was the perfect time to be back. She got the feeling that, now more than ever, Jax needed her. And she was bound and determined to show him that now that she was back, she was never leaving again.


	7. Chapter 7

"SO, HOW'S BUSINESS?"

Nero looked up and smiled at his partner. He really was glad that he could be here for Jax. It meant a lot to Gemma, that much he knew. But it also meant a lot to him. He didn't get to see his son very often, and he was growing ever fonder of Jax Teller.

"Business is good, Mijo."

Jax nodded, looking around. He was glad that this legitimate business was going so well. Of course, he owed a huge thank you to Nero, for knowing what he was doing. And Teller-Morrow was doing pretty well right now too.

"Something on your mind?"

Jax shook his head, taking a seat next to Nero in the lounge area. "Lots of things are on my mind, man. But nothing I wanna share. Sorry."

Nero just nodded knowingly. He knew all about the depression Jax had fallen into. It concerned his mother to no end, but she knew how stubborn he was. After all, she was the same way. Jax would come around when he was ready to come around. But he also knew that Gemma had told some of the guys to give him some space and not bother him with club business unless it was "absolutely necessary". Nero knew if Jax found that out, Gemma would be in for a serious verbal lashing. So he kept quiet.

"I'm gonna get back to TM. Let me know if you need anything, right?"

Nero nodded again, standing up when Jax did. "Will do. We'll see you later." Jax nodded, walking out of the building and lighting a cigarette.

On these mornings when Nero didn't need him, and TM didn't need him, and Abel was in pre-kindergarten in the mornings, Jax just liked to climb on his bike and go for a ride. It relaxed him, soothed his soul, made him feel in control. And he was going to need that control because tomorrow, he was headed to Portland to visit his son and see his second ex-wife.

JOB HUNTING WAS not going very well and Shea was starting to get discouraged. She knew she didn't have a lot of skills that would be considered valuable, but she could do things. She was hoping that in her hometown, her record wouldn't be a problem. She just sighed and shook her head. She still had unemployment coming in, as well as the money left from her divorce, so she and the kids were fine for now. But she worried regardless.

Shea could remember coming here when she was younger, sometimes by herself, sometimes with Opie, sometimes with Opie and Jax. Mostly it had been by herself. Then, as she had gotten older and sneakier, it had been to spy on Opie and Jax when they brought girls here to make out. God how she'd been jealous of all the blonde tramps Jax had brought down here. Her gut had always used to twist in knots and she wanted to wipe the smiles right off the skanks' faces. But then she'd met Joey. And everything changed.

She had always found something calming about the shoreline. She loved the water, loved the waves. They mesmerized her in a way nothing else had. Except perhaps Jax Teller, she thought, smiling to herself.

As if on cue, she heard the roar of a motorcycle. She didn't have to look up to know who it was. She hadn't known he still came down here, but part of her suspected. There were times she would spy on him and he would be by himself. She would watch him sit here, thinking, smoking a cigarette. And she could see the wheels in his head turning. She had always wondered just what he was thinking, what thoughts were behind those eyes, those sagging shoulders… But she had never gotten the chance to ask. She was, after all, just Opie's little sister.

JAX RECOGNIZED HER hair first, as always. It was always flowing behind her. She sat on a rock, knees pulled up to her chest. She hadn't turned, so he wasn't sure if she had heard his approach. He could remember seeing her here all those years ago. Sometimes she would follow him and Opie down here, even when they brought dates. He had stopped bringing dates down here when Shea had started showing up with Joey. That was when she had stopped just being Opie's little sister.

He sat down on a rock next to her, not saying anything. That much hadn't changed between them in the years she'd been gone. They had never really needed to talk things to death. Just one of the many ways in which she differed from his second ex-wife.

After a few moments, she turned toward him at the same time he had turned toward her. They looked into each other eyes and each felt the intensity of the stare. Shea took a breath, but didn't turn her gaze away. Jax was used to frightening people, she knew that. But he didn't scare her. At least, not in a bad way.

He did end up turning his gaze away first. The intensity in her eyes was almost frightening. And he didn't scare easily. Something about this woman…

"I'm really sorry."

Jax turned to her. Wasn't that supposed to be his line? Her father and her brother were both dead and all because of the club. It was true that Opie had chosen his fate, but Jax still had guilt and he feared he always would.

"Why are you sorry?"

Shea shrugged. "It's gotta be hard, not seeing your son. Knowing that your wife gave up on the life you two worked so hard to have. Especially after everything you two had been through…"

Immediately, they were both back in the same memories, ten years ago.

Tara had wanted him to leave with her. They were nineteen years old then and she was going to medical school. She wanted Jax to leave with her, but he knew he couldn't do that. His life was here and he had always known it would be. Tara did too. Jax resented her for trying to change him into someone he was never going to be, just to be "good enough" to be with her.

"It was my fault, you know."

Shea raised her eyebrows. "What was your fault?" Jax swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and simply said, "Ope."

Shea had a hard time believing that. "How was it your fault?"

And before he knew what he was doing, Jax was telling her everything. EVERYTHING. Why they went to prison, what it was like, how Jax had wanted it to be him to take the punishment for the club. How at the last minute, Opie had head-butted the guard and it wound up being the thing that had killed him. And before he could stop them, tears started to flow.

Shea had never seen him cry before. She pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around him, as the sobs consumed him. She knew he needed this. Jax never allowed himself to be vulnerable, he couldn't. He had a club to run and a reputation to protect. But she saw past all that – she always had. It felt good to let go.

Jax leaned into her, turning his face into her chest and letting the tears flow freely. He knew she wouldn't judge him for this and that brought him great comfort.

"I am so sorry, Shea. He's dead because of me. He was my best friend. I loved him so much."

He continued to cry and she held him as he did. After a few minutes, he pulled away, wiping away the remaining tears and shaking his head.

"Talk about embarrassing."

Shea shook her head. "No, I'm glad you could get that all out, Jax. It's not healthy to hold all of that in."

He looked in her eyes and all he saw there was sincerity. No judgment, no hatred… A part of him had wanted her to hate him for what had happened to her family. But he knew at that moment, looking in her eyes, that she didn't feel that way. She never would.

Shea took hold of his hand. "It's not your fault. You and I both know how stubborn Opie was. Once he made up his mind, there was no changing it."

Jax felt himself smile as he said, "A family trait." She smiled as well. "So it is."

They both turned to stare out at the water again. Then Shea looked at her phone to see what time it was.

"Shit, I gotta go. The kids are gonna be home soon. You're going to Portland tomorrow, right?"

Jax nodded, not standing with her. Shea turned to look at him.

"We're gonna go pick out a dog tomorrow. You should come."


	8. Chapter 8

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for your continued support and encouragement. I love you guys! I just wanted to let you know that this story has taken turns that I never expected and I am so glad I have you guys to tell me what you like, don't like, etc. Thank you, thank you, thank you! :-)

THE ANIMAL SHELTER opened at ten a.m. and they were there at five after. The kids seemed really excited to be getting a pet. Shea guessed it had been awhile since they'd had one. Now they were waiting for Jax to show up. He said he would leave Abel with his mother so that he wouldn't get any ideas of his own for a pet. At least not right now.

"Are we gonna get a puppy?"

Shea looked at Ellie. Her niece was such a pretty girl, coming into her own. Of course, this was the age for it. And Shea would be lying if she said she wasn't terrified of raising a teenage girl. After all, she had been one herself once, and not the best behaved one. She just hoped she could handle it.

Harry, aptly named after his father, seemed to be mulling over the question.

"Do we want a puppy?"

She posed the question to the two of them. If they got a puppy, she would expect them to help her with the house training and the obedience part.

"Why don't we just go in there and see what they have?"

Shea smiled and said, "Good idea." Harry was a thinker, much like his father and grandfather had been. And he didn't really say much. The strong, silent type, she thought, smiling to herself as they began walking toward the front door. That's when she heard the roar of a motorcycle.

Jax turned the bike off and removed his helmet. She hadn't seen him since yesterday, at the water. She was hoping he didn't regret spilling his guts to her or letting her see him be so exposed. By the smile on his face when he faced her, she was guessing he was okay with it. And just like that, the butterflies in her stomach took flight.

"Hey Jax.", Harry greeted him. Ellie waved. Jax flashed them both a smile and turned back to Shea.

"Thanks for asking me along. I hope we can find you guys a good dog."

Shea nodded, hoping they did too. She thought it would go a long way in the healing process. She had been doing research on the internet at night, after the kids had gone to bed, about ways for children to deal with grief. One of the things she had read about was getting a family pet.

They walked into the shelter and were greeted by an older woman, early fifties, with a bright smile.

"Hello folks. What can I help you with today?"

Shea smiled at her. "We're looking at dogs today. Hoping to find a family pet."

The woman smiled right back. "That's wonderful! We have a lot of dogs to choose from. A few puppies, but mostly older dogs that have been abandoned or could no longer be cared for by their owners. My name is Grace. Follow me."

She led them to the left, where the kennel of dogs was. There were cages lined up on both sides and each dog had a doggie door that let outside for them to do their business. Shea didn't like it, though. She hated the thought of the dogs being all alone here at night, cold and helpless. She had been an animal lover from way back and if she could adopt all of them, she would. She hoped the kids and Jax would rein her in a little bit.

Shea watched Harry and Ellie look around at the dogs. There was barking and panting and sniffing and licking. But Shea was going to let them see which dog or dogs they liked best and then they would go from there.

"I, uh, didn't thank you for yesterday."

Shea glanced at him. "Thank me?" Jax nodded. "Yeah, I had no idea how much I needed that. That stuff I told you… no one knew that. No one." And she knew just whom he meant by no one. And that touched her.

"Well, you're welcome. It was my pleasure."

She reached over and touched his arm. "I'm not going anywhere, Jax." They shared a smile, a private smile and then Shea turned to Harry saying her name.

He was standing next to a cage with a yellow Labrador retriever in it. She was licking his hand and putting her paw up for him to shake it.

"You like her?", Grace asked. Harry nodded and stood back so that Grace could open the kennel door. "Come on, we'll let you take her outside to see if she likes you too."

So they all walked out the back door to an open field of sorts.

"She's a lab, right?", She asked.

Grace nodded. "Yup. She was left here about a month ago. Her owners just up and left her and all of the other animals on their farm. This is May and she was a breeding dog. Once she couldn't have any more puppies, she was useless to them."

Grace handed Harry a ball. He grinned, taking it from her and throwing it for May to retrieve. She did so with enthusiasm, bringing it back and dropping it at his feet.

"She's a little older than most of the dogs we have here. She's six years old. But she's in excellent health, despite being a breeding dog. She had four litters of pups before she was through. She came in with her daughter and granddaughter, who were both adopted last week. May is the last of the animals left from the farm."

Shea watched as May retrieved the ball again, only this time she brought it to Ellie, who had been on her phone. Ellie smiled and patted the dog on the head before taking the ball and throwing it, just as May had wanted her to.

"She seems pretty energetic.", Jax said, watching his godson and the dog interact.

Grace nodded. "She is. She would make a great companion or, in this case, family dog. She's so full of love and life. She just needs a family to give her a chance…despite her age."

Shea looked at Ellie, who smiled. Then she looked at Harry, who was stroking the dogs back. He flashed her a grin and in that smile, she saw her brother. A boy who loved a dog. Then she looked at Jax, who was smiling too.

She turned to Grace and asked, "When can we take her home?"

PICKING OUT A dog with them today had been a wonderful thing. Jax hadn't been that relaxed in a long time. He had borrowed his mother's car now and he and Abel were on their way to Portland to visit. Abel had fallen asleep in his car seat in the back and Jax had turned the radio down. They still had an hour to go. That's when his thoughts began to wander.

He still couldn't believe what he had told Shea last night. He hadn't wanted her to know how Opie died, the horrific details. If he could forget them, he would. But for some reason, honesty was very important when it came to her. And she had surprised him, yet again. She didn't hate him, didn't blame him… Instead, she had comforted him, assured him. It was definitely what he needed.

He found himself thinking back to that night all those years ago. For the longest time, she had just been Opie's little sister. But her senior year, something had changed. Her mannerisms, her appearance, her attitude. He took notice of her. And he knew she had taken notice of him.

That is, until she had started dating that moron Joey. Opie hadn't been thrilled about it either and he made that known to his sister. But Shea was just as stubborn as he was and hadn't given a damn what Opie thought.

Jax had known Shea at a time when he hadn't been obsessed or in love with Tara. That came after Shea. Actually, now that he thought about it, it was pretty much around the same time. Jax had chalked it up to teenage infatuation on his part and Shea's. And Tara's, for that matter.

But that night, at her graduation party, the air had shifted between them. Just taking out his lighter and lighting that cigarette for her. There was a fire from the lighter and a fire in her eyes. Then she had propositioned him. And he hadn't had the willpower to say no. She was his best friend's sister, but that night, he didn't care. It was just the two of them. All night long…

SHEA LET THE hot water run down her back and she sighed. Why couldn't she just get that night out of her head? It had only been one night, for God's sake. Yeah, an inner voice said, the best night of your life. And damned if she didn't want another one.


	9. Chapter 9

"I MISS YOU buddy."

Jax loved holding his son in his arms. Tara hadn't said much. Abel was in the living room, coloring a picture for Tara to keep here at her house. He had adjusted to life without her pretty well. Which was good because Tara seemed pretty happy here in Portland without them.

Thomas started to fuss, which Jax knew meant he was tired. So he began rocking with him, standing up and adding a little sway that he knew his son liked. Pretty soon, he was asleep and Jax placed him in the crib in his new room. He closed the door and walked back out into the kitchen. He knew Thomas would be out for a few hours, which was fine. He and Abel could probably take off.

"I wanted to talk to you."

Oh dear God, he thought, taking a cigarette out of his jacket pocket and lighting it. One thing he had always never understood was Tara's way of talking things to DEATH. Alright, he thought, exhaling, here we go.

"I just wanted you to understand, Jax, that I had to leave. I was turning into a person I never wanted to be. Someone I didn't even recognize anymore. Someone like…"

Jax looked at her and waited for her to say it. But she didn't. He knew exactly who she meant. Tara had always disliked his mother and vice versa. Even when they were getting along, it didn't matter. There was always an underlying tension.

"We've been through this.", He said, leaning back in the chair. Tara sighed. He knew there would be so much more for her to say, just as she always did. But he was curtailing that. He wasn't in the mood. And he didn't have to listen anymore.

"We're gonna get outta here. It's late and we have a long drive back. Besides, Abel and I still have to eat dinner."

Tara nodded, standing up when he did. Jax went to get his son and told him to go get in the car. Abel smiled and waved goodbye to Tara.

"He seems okay."

Jax nodded, putting his cigarette out. "Yeah, we all are."

Tara cocked her head to the side. He seemed…different to her. She didn't know why and couldn't put her finger on what it was, but his demeanor was different. Something had happened.

"I'll let you know when we're coming back."

Tara just nodded, watching them walk away from the doorway of her new apartment. She watched Jax put Abel in the car and then watched him get in as well. As they drove away, she couldn't help but wonder if she had made the right decision.

"YOU SURE SHE'LL be okay in here?"

Harry smiled. "I think she'll like sleeping in here."

Shea nodded, knowing he was right. May had chosen to sleep in Harry's room, right next to his bed. A boy and his dog, she thought, smiling. She remembered their old dog, Bruiser, and Opie. They were quite a pair.

"Alright, well, goodnight you two."

As she was walking out of the room, Harry whispered softly, "Thanks Aunt Shea."

She turned back. "Thanks for what, honey?"

Harry shrugged. "For being here. I'm glad you're back."

Shea went back into the room and sat down beside him. Then she ran a hand down his face. A face that looked so much like her brother and father, it made her chest tighten.

"I'll always be here, Harry. I'm never gonna go anywhere."

She knew Harry would have a hard time believing that, since he had lost his mother, father and grandfather in a matter of years. But his eyes softened and he smiled.

"I love you, kid."

Harry smiled and said, "I love you too, Aunt Shea." She leaned forward and kissed him on the head, before walking out of the room. This was why she came back. It hadn't just been that the kids needed her. She realized now that she needed them just as much.

"WHAT DO YOU think, brother?"

Jax shrugged. Abel was sound asleep in his bed after a long trip and he was sitting in the kitchen, talking to Bobby. He was wearing his VP patch again.

"I think it's what we need. Like the old days."

Jax couldn't remember the last time they had had a party at the clubhouse, like they used to. Maybe Bobby was right. Everyone needed to relax, cut loose, get drunk, and have a good time. Family dinners were one thing, raucous parties were quite another.

So Jax nodded. "I think you're right, VP. Let's do it."

"TALK TO JAX today?"

Gemma nodded as she joined Nero on the couch. "Yup, they just got back a little while ago. He misses that baby so much."

Nero could only imagine. He left his son at the facility to give him a better quality of life. He had never had him taken away, like Jax had. The pain he felt must have been ridiculous.

"It'll all work itself out, Gem. It will."

Gemma leaned back into his embrace and smiled as he kissed her on the top of the head. "I hope you're right, sweetheart. I hope you're right."

HE PUNCHED IN the numbers and waited. She answered on the third ring.

"How's May workin' out?"

He sat down on the edge of his bed and waited for an answer. "She is Harry's new best friend. It's a beautiful thing." When she laughed, he felt himself chuckling as well.

"Good, I'm glad. I think she'll be a great dog for you guys."

He heard shuffling in the background and wondered what Shea was doing.

"I think she will be. Thanks for coming with us, Jax. It meant a lot to the kids. And to me."

He smiled and said, "No problem."

They remained in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Then Shea was stunned when he asked, "Do you ever think about that night?"

She didn't need to ask what night he meant. There was only night he could have meant. The night that she had never been able to forget.

"I think about it all the time."

She heard his intake of breath, probably having not expected such an honest answer.

"Me too. Especially lately."

She didn't doubt that. Surely her being back after all this time had struck a chord in him and reminded him of all the memories they shared.

"You gonna come to the party next weekend?"

A party, she thought, shaking her head. Again, she hadn't been to a party at the clubhouse since her graduation party. And this time, she wouldn't have the kids as a shield, if she could in fact go.

"I'm not sure. Am I invited?"

He knew she was only teasing, but he replied seriously with, "You're always invited. You're family."

Shea closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillows on her bed. "I'll see what I can do. Goodnight Jax."

Jax nodded and said, "Goodnight Shea." Then he disconnected the call and leaned back on the bed, closing his eyes.


	10. Author's Note

Hey everyone, just wanted to post this little Author's Note by itself. First of all, THANK YOU. Your reviews and follows mean so much to me. I'm really glad that you are enjoying my story. Second, I just wanted to let you all know that I realized AFTER I started writing that my timeline is a little out of whack. I just think we'll have to go with it because, it IS fiction after all :-P I am relatively close to finishing this story and it looks like it will end up being 25 chapters or so. I had no idea when I began that it would be this long! Once I started, though, I just couldn't stop! And I really, truly thought this would be my only "Sons Of Anarchy" fan fiction, but now I have more ideas swimming around in my head. So we'll see. But again, you guys are truly the best readers and reviewers a girl could ever ask for. Thank you for your encouragement and awesome words of kindness. YOU GUYS ROCK! :-) Happy reading. :-)


	11. Chapter 10

SHE HAD BEEN looking for a job all week and had still turned up nothing. Her depression was really starting to get the best of her. Ellie had informed her that she was staying at Lyla's house tonight to have a sleepover with Piper – they missed each other. And Harry was staying at a friend's house as well. So, she was free to go to the party. Now she didn't know if she could go inside.

She looked down at her outfit. Of course she had dressed with him in mind. After all, he had been the one to extend the first invitation. More invites came after, of course, from Gemma and Tig and Bobby and Chibs…but he was the one she wanted to see.

Shea hated feeling like a schoolgirl again. Like it was ten years ago and she was a senior at Charming High School. So much in her life had made her different, very different from how she was. But with Jax…he brought back those feelings of head in the clouds and butterflies in her stomach.

She took a deep breath and looked at her getup once more, making sure that it was in fact what she wanted to wear. She knew there would be scantily clad women here and a lot of them would be vying for Jax's attention. Oh well, she thought. Just gotta do what I can.

And she thought she looked pretty good. She hadn't worn a skirt in years and wasn't about to start tonight. Instead, she had opted for jeans that made her feel sexy. Her tank top was deep green, with sparkles, that brought out the color in her eyes. And she knew how hot it got in there, so she had put her hair up. Her makeup was done and she had chosen her sexiest pair of dancing shoes that she never got to wear. If she was going to go out, especially here, she wanted to make sure she looked and felt her best. And she did. So, she took another deep breath and started toward the clubhouse.

THE PARTY WAS in full swing by the time Jax had arrived. He had left Abel with Lyla tonight, since Ellie was there having a sleepover with Piper. Lyla hadn't really been in a partying mood since losing Opie and Jax didn't blame her. But as he looked around and saw his brothers, getting drunk, hitting on women, playing pool…he knew that Bobby had been right. This was what they needed.

Even Nero was here tonight. Jax was glad that the guys were so accepting of it. He knew it was hard for some of them because they had been so close to Clay. But he thought that seeing his mother happy probably made it okay for them, just like it had for him in the beginning.

He looked around and saw that Shea wasn't here. He knew Ellie wasn't at home, but wasn't sure about Harry. So it was possible that she wasn't coming. Juice slid a beer across the bar to him and held his own up in a cheers. Jax nodded, taking a swig and swallowing.

"How come you never mentioned how smokin' hot Opie's sister is?'

Jax followed Juice's gaze to the door of the clubhouse and his heart rate ratcheted up just a bit. Damn she looked good. She looked good normally, it was true, but tonight she was dressed for being out and it showed. And there wasn't a guy in the room who didn't notice.

"Hands off, Juice."

Juice looked at him, eyebrows raised. But Jax didn't elaborate further as he pushed away from the bar and went to the door to greet her.

"You showed."

Shea flashed him a smile and said, "So I did. Kids have lives, figured I should get one too."

They shared a laugh and he motioned to the bar. "Drink?" Shea nodded and said, "Absolutely."

She followed him to the bar, where Filthy Phil was now giving people drinks. They didn't have any prospects at the moment. And it was better that way. Much less chaos when things needed to calm down a bit.

"Evenin' pretty lady."

She smiled. "Nice to see you again, Phil." Phil nodded and said, "Same here. What's your pleasure?"

Shea grinned and said, "That's a loaded question." Phil shared her grin until he saw the look Jax was giving him. He cleared his throat.

"We have whatever you want. Just let me know when you decide."

He got some girls down the bar a drink as Shea sat down on a stool, crossing her legs. Jax took a seat on the stool next to her.

"I guess the question is do I wanna start off slow or just dive right in?"

Jax smiled. "Depends on much you've changed."

She supposed that was true. She had never been known to be cautious. Go big or go home had been her favorite phrase at one time.

"You're right. Phil?"

He came back down to her and smiled. "Make a decision?"

Shea nodded. "Four horsemen. Line 'em up, good buddy."

Phil smiled, impressed. Jax, on the other hand, was surprised. When she said she was going to dive in, he knew she meant liquor. But this was serious liquor. He hoped she could handle it.

Jax watched as Phil put four shot glasses in front of them. He looked at Jax and Jax nodded. If she was gonna do it, he was too. So four more shot glasses for Jax. Four for Phil. And by this time, Tig and Chibs had joined them as well. Eight more. Phil began pouring. Tequila in one, Bacardi in another, Jagermeister in the third and Rumple Minze in the fourth.

"Bottom's up, boys.", Shea said, flashing them a smile and downing her first shot. The men followed suit. Soon, all the shots were gone and there hooting and hollering as they burned going down their throats.

Jax felt the heat rush through his blood as the shots entered his system. He hadn't done shots in quite a while.

"Whoo!", Shea yelled, shaking her head. The liquor felt weird being back in her system. But tonight, she was going to have some fun. And if she needed liquor to help loosen her up, then so be it.

"Shea, is that you?"

She looked up and grinned at the woman who stood there. She had graduated with Janelle. They had been friends all those years ago. She was surprised to see her here in the clubhouse, but it was a nice surprise. She could use a dose of non-slutty estrogen right about now.

"Janelle, hey! So good to see you!"

They hugged and Janelle pulled back to look at her. "No wonder all the heads turned to look at you when you walked in here. Damn girl, you look great!"

She smiled and said, "So do you. Not bad for ten years later, huh?" They shared a laugh. "Come on, do some shots with us!"

GEMMA WATCHED FROM the sidelines as the people around her had a good time. It was good to see the men she loved having a good time again. This was what they needed. Good music, good drinks, and getting laid. It almost felt like old times.

She watched her son, who was watching her god-daughter. She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face. She knew that look. And as much as her son wanted to hate women because of that bitch, Tara, she knew he couldn't. Not when it came to Shea. And Gemma couldn't have been happier about it. Now if they just didn't screw it up.

THE SONG ON jukebox was an old one by a band called Buckcherry and it was called "Crazy Bitch". This song had been playing that night ten years ago, she remembered, as she took another pull from her beer. How she even remembered a damn thing right now, she wasn't sure, but she remembered that

"Hey, you're a crazy bitch, but you fuck so good I'm on top of it. When I dream I'm doin' you all night, scratches all down my back…"

She and Janelle were just mouthing the words, but some of the guys were actually singing it. Some of these guys hadn't been around when she was still in Charming and she had to say that she liked them. They were funny and sweet.

"You know this song, huh ladies?"

Shea laughed and nodded. "Believe it or not, it was popular here ten years ago." She clinked glass bottles with Juice and they both drank.

"Juice, wanna introduce me, man?"

Juice looked up and saw a friend of the club, Danny, standing there, a grin on his face. Clearly he was checking Shea out. Juice glanced around to see if he could find Jax. He was the one who said Shea was "hands off". But he had been standoff-ish the entire night, hanging out at the bar mostly, just watching.

"Danna, Shea, Shea, Danny."

Shea extended her hand and felt a little woozy for a moment on her higher-than-normal heels. She smiled and said, "Nice to meet you." Danny kissed her hand and said, "The pleasure is all mine, baby. Would you care to dance with me?"

JAX WAS DRUNK. For the first time in a long time, he thought, and it felt good to not have to think about anything or worry about anything. He took another drink and looked around the clubhouse. Everyone was having a good time, just like they used to. For a minute, he was taken back to a time when things were much easier. And much better because he had had his best friend here with him.

Thinking of Opie led him to think about Shea. He hadn't seen her for a moment. Last he had spotted her, she was with Juice, talking. But now Juice was making his way over to the bar, alone. Jax looked at him. Juice held up his hands, already knowing the question and pointed to the middle of the room, where people were dancing to a song by T.I.

Jax felt his blood pressure spike watching Shea dance with another guy. What was that asshole's name again? Dave? Dan? He finished off his beer and set it down on the bar.

"I know, you said hands off. But I'm not a babysitter…"

Jax knew that and Juice shouldn't have to be a babysitter. After all, Shea was a grown woman. She could do whatever she wanted. She was free to live her life the way she wanted to live it. Then a little voice in his head said, like hell she is.

The moment he saw that tool put his hand on Shea's ass, he was up and off the stool and striding to the middle of the dance floor.

"Gotta cut in man, sorry."

The guy, whoever he was, didn't look like he was about to bow out gracefully. Fortunately, Juice had followed Jax over with a couple of girls and led him away.

"Didn't think you could dance, Jax.", She teased.

Jax shrugged. "I can, when the mood strikes me. The mood struck me." An Eminem song, "Shake That", had come on now. He began dancing with Shea, smiling when she followed his lead.

They began dancing together. At first they were facing each other, moving their hips along to the music. Shea glanced over and saw that Janelle was dancing with Juice. They shared a smile. Reminiscent of the good old days, she thought, taking another sip of her beer while she danced.

The chorus came on and Shea turned so that her back was to Jax. She danced against him and smiled when he put his hands on her hips, holding her close.

"Come on girl, shake that ass for me. Shake that ass for me."

Shea let a laugh escape, hearing him whisper those words gruffly in her ear. It sent chills up and down her spine. His voice, his hands… Good thing she wasn't combustible. Or perhaps she was when it came to Jax Teller.

The song ended and they smiled at each other. Then Shea recognized the old hip hop song that came on next by Juelz Santana, "The Whistle Song". She and Janelle looked at each other and pointed, beginning to laugh as they both remembered the last time they had been at the clubhouse and danced to this song. The night they had graduated from high school.

"Come on, girl!"

Janelle pulled Shea with her and they climbed up and onto the bar. The whole song was about whistling, which all the guys did as Janelle and Shea danced on the bar, laughing as they did. It was nice to feel sexy again. Shea couldn't remember the last time she had felt as sexy as she did right now.

"Looks like she's having a good time."

Jax nodded in response to his mother's statement. She had had to say it loudly over the music, but he had heard her. And it did appear that Shea was enjoying herself. He was glad – she deserved to have a good time, just as much as anyone else here.

"I'm so glad she's home. I feel like something was missing and she just brought it back, ya' know?"

Jax had never thought about it that way, but when his mother put it like that, it made perfect sense. She had been such an important part of everyone's lives for eighteen years and then she was just gone. But she was back now and Charming, and all the people who knew and loved her, were better for it.

Everyone began whistling again, as they song called for. Jax had to admit it was hot to watch two sexy women dance together on top of a bar. Like their own personal version of that movie "Coyote Ugly". That is, until some of the men at the bar began getting grabby and presenting the girls with dollar bills for their dance.

Good thing the dance was over a moment later, because Jax had balled his hands into fists and was prepared to intervene if necessary.

"She looks like she could use some air.", Gemma said, smiling at him. Jax nodded, giving her a smile and walking up to the bar. He extended his hand to Shea. She accepted and he helped her down off the bar.

"Wanna get some air?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you're looking for heat between Jax and Shea, I can guarantee for the rest of the story. :-)


	12. Chapter 11

Once outside in the cool night air, she immediately felt the impact of the alcohol she had been drinking. She hadn't been this drunk in years. Years upon years. When she had been with Joey, she usually remained pretty sober because she wanted to make sure he didn't get into the kind of trouble she knew he was capable of.

She was surprised when she felt Jax's finger touch the base of her neck. Her body shuttered involuntarily and she turned to face him.

"When did you get that?"

She had forgotten that by wearing her hair up, you could see one of her tattoos. "When I was eighteen, after I left Charming. I was never allowed to wear my hair up. Joey hated the tattoo with a passion."

It was her personal favorite. It was delicate, cursive writing that spelled out "Winston". That's who she was after all.

"Why did he hate it?"

Shea shrugged and, reluctantly, turned away from his touch. "He said I wasn't a Winston anymore, once we got married. We had that fight a lot."

She sighed, thinking about it. She could remember all the times they had fought about it. Even when Joey started getting physical. That was the reason for her first divorce from him. A broken arm and bruised ribs had been the straws that had broken the camel's back.

"It's beautiful."

Shea smiled. "You think so?" Jax nodded. "Yeah. You should be proud of who you are. Opie always was."

That was something she and her brother had always been in common. No matter what other people had thought of them or their family, they were proud of what they were and they had never wanted to change for anyone.

"You looked like you were having fun in there."

Shea grinned. "I was. God, I was. It's been so long since I've been able to just cut loose. It feels good. Really, really good. Thank you."

She touched her hand to his face and laughed. "I don't remember you ever being this scruffy before. You always wanted to shave."

That was true. When he was younger, he was prone to not having a lot of scruff on his face. He found that the ladies liked it better that way. But in the past few years, he just hadn't given a damn. Seemed liked that was a recurring theme in his life.

He touched the hand that was touching his face. She made his skin tingle, even through the beard. The strains of "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns-n-Roses filtered outside through the door and they shared a look. Boy was this a familiar song.

When Shea had taken him back to her house that night, there had been music playing in her room. This was one of the songs that had been in her CD player that night.

"Damn, you're beautiful.", He said, his voice barely above a whisper. But she heard him and that made her smile as she said, "So are you." Then, without thinking, she leaned in closer and brushed her lips over his, needing to feel his kiss, if only for a moment.

But that wasn't enough for Jax. He pulled her closer, cupping her face and deepening the kiss. He swept his tongue past her lips, waiting for an invitation. When she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body against him, he got it. Her tongue took over his mouth. She tasted like mint and woman and liquor and sin.

She felt Jax backing her up toward something and she realized that it was the car that was nearest to them. She didn't care. His hands were in her hair, caressing the back of her neck, the weight of his body pushing her against the car.

Shea moaned when he bit her bottom lip. And with that one noise, Jax pulled himself away, his chest heaving. Shea was still leaning against the car, not trusting herself to stand alone just yet. What the hell had just happened here?

"Jax, what is it? Did I do something wrong?"

Jax shook his head, expelling a ragged breath. "No, no. I just don't trust…myself."

He looked up to see something in her expression change. She went from caring and concerned to angry and pissed off.

"You mean you don't trust me."

How did she do that?

"Can you blame me?"

She licked her lips, trying to get rid of the taste of him. It wasn't working.

"What does that mean?"

Jax took another step back, away from her. "You _are_ the one who left Charming. After…"

"If I remember correctly, you were the one who was gone when I woke up."

That was true. Jax had snuck out incredibly early, so as to avoid any awkward scenes with Opie or Piney. He didn't want to deal with the fallout from either of them and he had known Shea wouldn't want to either.

"I thought it was better that way…"

Shea scoffed and muttered, "Like it made a difference."

She looked up to see his brow furrowed. Apparently, Opie had taken that to his grave with him.

"Ope knew, Jax. When he came home, all he had to do was come in my room and he smelled your cologne."

Opie had known, all these years, and he had never said anything? That wasn't like him.

"He never said anything to you because of what he said to _me_ that morning. He said that playtime was over. I got you out of my system and I had to go. All you would do is break my heart."

Jax ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Now _that_ sounded like Opie. And back then, it was true, Jax probably would have broken Shea's heart. He was a stupid kid with tunnel vision – the only thing that had mattered was the club.

Opie couldn't have known then how right he was about that. Jax hadn't been good for anyone back then, especially not Shea.

Jax swallowed a lump in his throat and looked at her. She had stopped leaning against the car now, but made no move to come toward him. She folded her arms across her chest and waited.

"It hurt you that I left that morning."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. And it was true. When Shea had woken up that morning, to an empty bed, her heart had felt just as empty. She then thought that her brother was right. Jax had used her, the way he had used lots of girls. But a part of her had wanted to believe she was different. That maybe she had meant something to him other just another one-night stand.

"I loved you then."

She looked up, taken aback by his words. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol talking, but she sure as hell wanted to hear what he had to say. This is what she had wanted to hear for over a decade.

"I loved you as Opie's sister first. And then, after we spent that night together, it was something else. Something I didn't think existed. I was just a dumb kid, so were you. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell were you thinking? I went back there that afternoon, Shea. To your house. I wanted to tell you that it wasn't just another night to me, because I knew you would think that. How could you not? But I wanted you to know that it was the most incredible night of my life. And damn what Opie thought and damn what Piney thought. I wanted to give it a chance."

This was all news to her. He had never said a word to her. Opie had never said a word to her. He probably thought he was protecting her, stepping into the big brother role that he loved so much. How did things get so messed up?

"When you weren't there, I never told Ope. I never told Piney. I thought that Joey was what you wanted and I must have blown the night up into something it wasn't."

She watched him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light it. If only she had seen Jax that afternoon. Life could have turned out so differently, for both of them. If only…

"I was gonna come back. In September."

Jax exhaled and stared at her. "I called Ope to tell him that I had a bought a plane ticket and I was coming home. But before I could, he told me about you and Tara. That you were madly in love with her and followed her around like a lovesick little puppy. And that you were gonna follow her when she left Charming. We hung up and I went back to my life. You finally had what you wanted. And I wasn't gonna be the reason that it all got messed up for you."

This certainly was a night of revelations. He had no doubt that Opie had told her all of that stuff and it was all true. He had been head over heels for Tara then and he _had_ been thinking about leaving with her. But that hadn't lasted very long. So she must have made that phone call in the midst of all the chaos that was his life back then.

The cigarette was gone now and Shea was glancing at the clubhouse. Janelle was standing outside now, with Juice.

"Shea, Juice is gonna give me a lift home. You alright?"

Shea turned back to Jax and a sad smile crossed her face. Then she walked up to him, leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I loved you then too, Jax." She closed her eyes for just a moment and backed up, away from him.

"I'll come with you!", She called out. Before Jax could think twice, Shea was across the lot and into one of TM's trucks with Juice and Janelle. And then she was gone again.


	13. Chapter 12

THIS IS WHY I don't drink anymore, Shea thought, as she attempted to roll out of bed the next morning. She was in desperate need of some pain killers and something with caffeine. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was still early, only a little past eight a.m. The kids would probably be getting home soon, though.

She saw May standing in the doorway to her bedroom, tail wagging. Shea couldn't help but smile. "I'm comin', girl, I am, I promise."

"DADDY, LOOK WHAT I made for you."

Jax smiled and took the picture from his son. It was a colored picture of a cowboy riding a horse. "This is awesome. I'll put it right on the refrigerator."

Abel grinned proudly and watched as his father did in fact put the picture on the fridge with a magnet. "Yay!" Jax smiled and ruffled his son's hair. "Sure buddy. Do you want some breakfast?"

They heard the front door open and both of them flashed a smile at Gemma.

"Someone say breakfast? I can make French Toast."

Abel nodded enthusiastically. Gemma smiled and set her purse down on the kitchen table.

"I'm gonna go color another picture!" And with that, he scampered off into the living room, where Gemma and Jax heard the strains of the music from SpongeBob SquarePants come on.

"Hey fun last night?"

Jax sat down at the kitchen table and watched his mother busy herself with making breakfast. "Yeah, it was alright."

Gemma nodded knowingly. She had heard a few things after Shea had left. Jax hadn't returned to the party either, which is what started the rumor mill going.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now, Mom."

Gemma didn't say anything. She had anticipated this and wasn't surprised. Her son was usually tight-lipped about this sort of thing, especially lately.

"I never knew the two of you had so much…history."

Jax sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I didn't either, until last night."

Which was true. He had learned quite a bit about Shea last night. And he hadn't been able to stop himself from telling her things either. Seemed to be a common occurrence with this woman.

"It'll work itself out, baby. I promise." She kissed him on the cheek and then called Abel for breakfast.

SHEA HAD MADE dinner and the three of them had enjoyed a nice family meal around the table. This house was really starting to feel like home and it made Shea happier than she had been in a long time.

Now she stood over the sink, rinsing dishes. She didn't believe in dishwashers. As a child, she had always found doing the dishes comforting. It was relaxing and it allowed her to clear her mind. Only tonight, her mind was clouded with thoughts of the previous night.

Was she a moron to have admitted all of those things out loud? Jax didn't have to know that she had had a plan to return to Charming. He didn't need to know that she hadn't returned because of him and his relationship with Tara. She sighed to herself and put another dish in the drainer. If only that had been the only reason…

And what was all that stuff he said? He loved her? Why the hell couldn't he have told her that? Was it just the alcohol talking? She wanted to believe there was truth behind it. Perhaps she would never know.

Shea turned the sink off and then began drying her hands. She noticed music coming from Ellie's room and she raised her eyebrows. Was that Journey she heard? Putting the dishtowel down on the counter, she made her way down the hall to see her niece standing on her bed, belting out the beginning words to "Don't Stop Believin'".

She had to smile to herself. She remembered being just this way when she was Ellie's age. Maybe Shea could handle being a mother to a teenage girl after all. She _had_ gone through it herself. Maybe she would have some insights for her niece. One could only hope.

Shea's favorite part of the song was fast approaching and Ellie was still singing into her hairbrush. A smile spread across Shea's face as she entered the room and grabbed the portable phone from Shea's dresser, jumping onto Ellie's bed with her and using the phone as a microphone.

"A singer in a smoky room, a smell of wine and cheap perfume. For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on and on…"

Shea wasn't sure how her niece would react. But seeing her aunt on the bed with her and singing with her, Ellie began laughing.

"I had no idea you liked this song.", Shea said, practically yelling to be heard over the music. Ellie smiled and replied, "It was one of dad's favorites."

JAX ROLLED HIS neck from side to side as he shut the bike off and put the helmet down. He wasn't sure why he was here or what they would say to each other, but he felt that he had to come. He felt drawn to this place, and most especially the woman who called it home.

He knocked on the front door, but there was no answer. So he tried the doorknob to find that the house was unlocked. Then he realized they hadn't heard him knock over the music coming from down the hall. Journey.

Following the noise, Jax found Shea and Ellie dancing on Ellie's bed. He couldn't help the grin that he felt pull at the corners of his mouth as he leaned against the door, watching.

"Don't stop believin'! Hold on to that feelin'! Streetlight…People!"

The song was over and Jax and Harry began applauding. Shea and Ellie looked at them, surprised, not realizing that had had an audience.

Ellie shut the stereo off and glared at her little brother, who appeared to be laughing at her. But Jax wasn't laughing, he was just smiling. Smiling at this woman who was constantly surprising him. Last night, she had been a sexy siren in a clubhouse. Tonight, she was like a mom having fun with her daughter.

"Didn't hear you come in.", Shea said, climbing down off of the bed. Jax nodded and said, "I'm not surprised." They shared a smile.

Ellie looked back and forth between her Godfather and her aunt. Then she cleared her throat. "Harry and I are gonna get some ice cream. Do you guys want anything?"

Subtle, Shea thought, smiling at her niece. But well-played. Both she and Jax shook their heads, so Ellie grabbed some one dollar bills off of her dresser and pulled Harry with her. "Come on, we'll take May for a walk and get some ice cream. We'll be back."

The kids were gone a moment later and that left Jax and Shea to stare at each other and at the floor. Neither one wanted to be the first to speak. But eventually, it was Jax who chose to speak first.

"So, about last night…"

Shea looked up and smiled as she said, "Cheesy eighties flick." That brought a smile to Jax's face as well. Then he chuckled, so glad she had chosen to break the tension.

"I guess we both learned a lot last night, huh?"

Shea nodded, thinking, to say the least. But the biggest question now was where the hell did they go from here? They couldn't change the past, couldn't get back the time they lost. And Shea knew Jax was scared. She knew he was absolutely terrified and she didn't blame him. She was scared too.

"I was wondering if you'd kiss the same. I was wrong."

He looked up and into her face. There was mischief behind her eyes and she was smiling. "How were you wrong?"

Shea bit her bottom lip, a habit she had had for as long as she could remember. Joey had told her many times that her "pouty face" was sexy. She sure as hell hoped Jax agreed.

"You're better."

Was Jax Teller blushing? Couldn't be. She had merely said he was a good kisser. It's not like she had complimented his prowess in bed… Not that she didn't want to have another chance to do that. She did, more than anything.

"So are you."

He reached out and cupped her cheek with his right hand. Shea leaned into his touch, loving the feel of his rough hands on her smooth skin. Jax had always had great hands.

"I don't wanna hurt you. Again. Anymore." Shea couldn't help but smile. It was beyond sweet of him to worry about that, but there was no way he could hurt her. Just being here with him was all that mattered.

"I don't wanna hurt you either. I never knew I did. But now that I know, I don't ever want to repeat that mistake. You have to know that I'm not going anywhere, Jax. I'm home for good, for the rest of my life. I want to raise Harry and Ellie here and make a home and a family. Please believe that."

Jax thought he would have trouble believing anyone who said that after everything that had happened with Tara. But when Shea said it, he believed it. He believed her, believed _in_ her. She was here to stay.

He leaned his forehead against hers, his breath warm against her mouth. Shea placed her hands on his shoulders and tilted her face to the right just before their lips met in a bone-melting kiss. She slid her tongue past his lips and invaded his mouth, wanting so much more of him. Unlike last night, today she was the aggressor, pushing him back against the wall. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself against him. Jax wound his arms around her shoulders and pulled her as close she could possibly get.

Shea felt his arousal pressing into her stomach and it pleased her, like nothing had in a very long time. She was in a comparable state and wished with all her might that she could just take him to bed. But she couldn't, she was home, with Harry and Ellie, who would be back any minute.

Reluctantly, Shea pulled away, but didn't move too far. Jax leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. Shea smiled, wondering what he was thinking. Was that too forward for him? It was a just a kiss…. Who was she kidding? When they kissed, it wasn't _just_ anything. It was _everything._

"I should probably go."

Hearing him say that, Shea began to remove her arms from around him, but Jax wouldn't let her. He held her close still, not ready to let her go just yet. She smiled to herself and leaned her head against his chest, listening to the rapid beat of his heart. Good to know she had the same affect on him that he had on her.

"We need to finish this."

Shea looked up and into his eyes. His beautiful, warm, devilish eyes. Then she grinned and said, "Oh Jax, I think we're just getting started."


	14. Chapter 13

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Fair warning, sex ahead. Just wanted to give you a chance to close the screen...if you wanted to :-P I know that when I was writing the sexual parts of this story, I needed a cold drink next to me. So I thought a warning would be good for the readers. Proceed if you wish. And thank you for your continued support! Love you guys! :-)

HE KNEW WHAT she meant when she said they were just getting started. He could feel it in his bones every time they kissed. There was something between them, something that had always been there. But they hadn't had a chance to elaborate further because Harry and Ellie had arrived back home and Jax had said his goodbyes. But that hadn't stopped him from thinking about Shea and their encounter all night long. It had made for a rather sleepless night.

Jax parked his bike outside of Nero's offices and strode inside. Apparently, business was booming, which was great. Jax couldn't have been happier that things were finally starting to be legitimate, as well as profitable.

He looked around, not seeing Nero immediately. He did, however, see that the back office door was open. Figuring he could find either Nero or his mother in there, he made way over and knocked on the door. Then he almost fell over.

Shea stood at the filing cabinet, wearing a deep burgundy blouse, a pencil skirt that ended just above her knees and killer heals.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

My but those words sounded familiar. The exact same ones he had used when he found out she was back in town. Shea closed the filing cabinet and smiled.

"I'm working. What are you doing here?"

Jax's brow furrowed and he felt his blood pressure spike. "No, _I'm _working, checking on _my_ business. Again, what are _you_ doing here?"

Shea sat down in the chair and crossed her legs, momentarily diverting his attention. It didn't last long enough.

"Nero gave me a job."

Jax began shaking his head. "Oh no, Shea, no. Absolutely not. This is not a place for you to work. You cannot work here, doing…_this._"

Shea suppressed a smile and asked, "What exactly is it you think I'm doing?"

Like he wanted to say it out loud. The last thing he wanted was for Shea to be an escort. The thought of another man with his hands all over her was enough to bring him to the edge. Her cocky smile was enough to push him over.

"Damn it, you cannot do this! You cannot be one of Nero's girls! I won't allow it!"

Shea stood then and closed the door, locking it. Then she turned her attention back to Jax.

"And why not, exactly?"

She saw that his face was getting red, which meant that he was getting angry. Good, she thought, a reaction.

"Because, you don't need the money that bad that you have to be an escort, selling yourself to some dickhead just to pay for food on the table. I will take care of you and Ellie and Harry and May. Because you're….you're…"

She folded her arms across her chest and waited.

"Because you're mine, damn it."

He growled the last part and she couldn't help but smile. So she was his, huh? Well, she thought it was about time he showed her just what he meant by that.

"Because I'm yours.", She repeated. All Jax could do was nod.

He knew it sounded illogical and stupid and like a cave man, but he didn't care. He was beyond caring. No man would ever touch Shea again, not if he had anything to say about it.

Shea side-stepped him and moved some office supplies aside so that she could sit on the desk. Then she looked at him, into his eyes and didn't break her stare as she said, "Prove it." She saw his pupils dilate and noticed a hitch in his breathing as her skirt rode further up her thighs. Then she unbuttoned the four buttons on her blouse and let it hang open, revealing a leopard-print bra.

Before he could over think it, before he could analyze it to death, Jax found himself tunneling his fingers through her hair and kissing her with all the passion he felt at that moment. He stood between her legs as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

Shea leaned her head back as Jax began kissing her neck, nibbling her ear. He pushed the blouse down her arms and off, onto the floor. Shea wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him ever closer. Then her hands were on his belt buckle, undoing it as fast as her clumsy fingers would allow. Jax slid his hands up her thighs, grazing the smooth skin and smiling against her neck.

She wiggled against him, feeling how ridiculously hard he was. Jax leaned her back on the desk, feasting on her with his eyes, taking her all in. He hadn't laid eyes on her gorgeous body in over a decade. He wanted to take a moment and enjoy this. But Shea's fingers on his zipper snapped him back to reality.

"I can't wait anymore, Jax.", She whispered, pushing his jeans down his thighs. "I've already waited long enough."

He knew exactly how she felt. He himself felt like he would explode any minute if he wasn't inside her soon.

Shea reached into his pocket and pulled a condom out. So that hasn't changed, she thought, opening it with her teeth and leaning forward just a bit to roll it onto his impressive length.

"Now!", She whispered urgently, pulling him back toward her. Jax was never one to deny a woman anything, especially this woman. So he slid into her, causing her back to arch off the desk. For a moment, he stood there, reveling in the feeling of being with her, around her, in her again.

But Shea had quickly grown impatient and was starting to move, leaving Jax no choice but to follow her lead. He pulled her hips down a little, giving him a better angle as he pulled out and slid in again. Shea closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip.

Jax leaned forward as he thrust into her, licking one nipple through the fabric of her bra. When he bit it, Shea bit her lip again, to keep herself from crying out. She raised her knees up so they were clenching his hips and moved in rhythm with him, digging her nails into his shoulders through the fabric of his shirt.

She felt the orgasm build, a delicious tension that she had been craving for a long time. She looked up and into his eyes and saw that he was dangerously close as well. Thank God he had about as much control as she did. Even playing field.

The years had been good to him, she decided then. He certainly knew what he was doing and he didn't even have to be in a bedroom. With one final thrust from him, Shea was pushed over the abyss, spiraling higher and higher, riding the wave of passion for all it was worth.

Jax's breathing had become labored and she felt him shake above her. He whispered her name in her ear and it was the greatest thing she had ever heard in her entire life. After a moment, much to Shea's chagrin, Jax removed himself from her completely. She watched him discard the condom and zip up again. She didn't move.

The look her gave her then had her blood roaring once more. He wanted her again, she could see it in his eyes. One time was never going to be enough for the two of them. Jax bent down and retrieved her shirt from the floor, handing it to her. She smiled, taking it and slipping it back on, doing the buttons up as well.

"I didn't come here for this."

Shea grinned. "Hey, I do what I can."

That made him laugh.

"By the way, I'm keeping the books now. Gemma told Nero how good I am with math and numbers and he decided that particular skill-set would be useful here."

Jax looked at her. _That _was her job here? He had just made himself look like a total asshole, assuming she was going to be working as an escort.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and then back at Shea. "I gotta go." He cupped her face and kissed her softly. Then he was gone.

"ARE YOU SURE you don't want me to keep Abel?"

Jax shook his head. "No Mom, that's alright. It'll be good for us to get away for the weekend, you know?"

Gemma nodded, not really understanding her son's reasoning. But she had learned a long time ago to only ask questions when it was necessary. Her son needed some time, obviously. It was good that he was finally taking some.

"I haven't been to the cabin since…"

They shared a look. Gemma didn't think anyone had been to Piney's cabin since his death. But it was a great place for solitude and reflection. Apparently, that was what her son needed right now.

"Well, if you need me to come pick up Abel…"

But Jax shook his head again. "No, it's cool. We'll camp out, go fishing, bond. We'll be fine." He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek and then went to tell his son of their plans. Gemma sighed as she looked after him, wondering what the hell was going on in that boy's head.


	15. Chapter 14

"I'M GLAD GEMMA had this idea."

Shea looked up and smiled at Nero. She was glad too. This was just the kind of job she had hoped to find. She would work while the kids were at school and would be home by four o'clock every day for them. Just like a real mom.

"I am too. Thanks for believing in me, just because she does. She's a little biased…"

Nero laughed and nodded. "Believe me, I know. But this is a good fit. I'm glad you're here Shea. Goodnight." He flashed her another smile and walked out of the office. Shea picked up her purse and made her way into the lobby.

"Goodnight everyone."

The girls were who were there sang a chorus of "Goodnight Shea" and she walked into the parking lot. As she climbed into the beat-up mini-van, which she swore she would replace soon, her thoughts drifted back to that afternoon. Mmm, what a way to spend an afternoon, she thought. But then it had been over as quickly as it had begun.

She had been seen the fear in his eyes. He didn't want to get close to her. But didn't he realize that it was already too late for that? Shea was in deep here, there was no denying that. And whether he wanted to admit it or not, Jax was too.

When she pulled into the driveway, she saw Gemma's black SUV parked in front of her house. Eyebrows raised, she walked in and saw that Gemma was sitting at the dining room table with Ellie, helping her with something. Harry was in the backyard with May.

"Hi sweetheart.", Gemma said, standing up and giving Shea a hug. Shea smiled and said, "Hey yourself. What are you doing here?"

Ellie stood then, grabbing her notebook. "I'll be in my room." Shea had to hand it to her niece – she certainly did know how to bow out of a situation gracefully and at just the right time.

"Thought I'd stop by and see how your first day on the job was."

Shea smiled. "It was great. I can't thank you enough for the opportunity, Gemma. Really…"

But Gemma was shaking her head. "It's my pleasure, honey. You'll do wonders for that place. I think you have already."

Shea raised her eyebrows, getting herself a drink from the refrigerator. "What do you mean?" Gemma shrugged and replied, "Just a feeling I get, that's all."

But Shea knew better than that. Gemma always had an angle. "My son took off this afternoon."

Shea joined her at the table and momentarily lost all thought. Jax had taken off? This afternoon? After their…after they…well, just after?

"He went up to the cabin."

Shea loved that cabin. She had spent many years there as a child, fishing with her brother and father. Swimming in the lake with Opie, taking walks by herself and writing in her journal. There were some good memories up there.

"He hasn't been up there since your dad passed away. But for some reason, today, this afternoon, he decided he was going up there. Any thoughts?"

Shea licked her lips and took another sip of her water. Yeah, she had thoughts alright. Like, Jax was running. He was trying to get away from her, from what they had. She would be the first to admit that it was intense and frightening, but she was done running.

"Shea?"

She looked at her Godmother and sighed. The truth was probably the best idea. Gemma had a way of finding out everything anyway. Even though she had worked really hard to be quiet today…and that had been quite a task.

"He's running.", Shea said, voicing her biggest fear aloud. Gemma nodded in agreement, having already suspected that.

"What is he running from? What happened today?"

So Shea told her, in as few details as possible. Gemma sat back in her chair and Shea was surprised to see that she was smiling.

"Why are you smiling?"

Gemma reached forward and put her hand on top of Shea's. "He is just like his father. Afraid to be the man he has always wanted to be. You can make him that man, Shea. I know it, you know it and Jax knows it. He runs a legitimate business now. He's a wonderful father, a generous man… He just needs a good woman. The best woman. You."

Shea felt the same way and she had ever since she had returned to Charming. Who are you kidding, she thought, you've felt this way since you were seventeen years old.

"I'm scared too."

Gemma nodded. "I know you are, baby. But there's no sense in you both being scared alone when you can be scared together."

Shea pulled her hand away from Gemma and stood up. "There's something Jax doesn't know, Gemma. Something I haven't told him."

Gemma stood as well. "And this is the one thing that's making you scared?" Shea nodded. Gemma reached into her purse and pulled out car keys. She set them down on the table. "Then you need to tell him. I'll stay with Ellie and Harry."

Shea looked down at the keys and then at Gemma. "Go to the cabin.", Gemma said, as if Shea hadn't known what she meant. "Tell him everything, Shea. I guarantee it won't change the way he feels about you. We'll be here when you get back."

She couldn't just up and leave Ellie and Harry. But she could also tell that Gemma wasn't going to give up. It's one night, she told herself. You tell Jax everything, _everything_, lay it all out on the line. And then you'll know once and for all.

She smiled at Gemma and nodded. "Okay. Okay, I'll go. And I'll be back tomorrow. With your son." Gemma grinned and said, "Go get our boy, honey."

"GOODNIGHT BUDDY. LOVE you."

Jax closed to the door to the spare bedroom where Abel was sleeping. They had had so much fun this afternoon. They had gone fishing off of the dock, just the way Jax and Opie used to when they were kids. Then they had eaten the tiny little fish they had caught and made S'mores around the campfire. Abel was exhausted.

Jax stood in the center of the living room, looking around, flooded by the memories here. There were so many to choose from. And each one of them brought a smile to his face. Except, of course, when he had found Piney. He just hoped that wherever Piney was in heaven, he had forgiven Jax.

This place was the perfect place for him to reflect and that's exactly what he had been doing since he got here. He thought about his life, about Abel, about everything. And, today, he had especially thought about Shea…and Tara.

This place did something for his head. He wasn't sure if it was all the fresh air or what, but it made him think clearer. And as he had been sitting next to his son, watching him, a smile on his face, that's when everything had suddenly become so clear.

When Shea had left, Jax's heart was broken. Tara was there for him. And teenage love had quickly turned into obsession. Jax realized that now. When Tara came back to Charming, he wanted them to have a second chance, to see if it really was love he felt for her. And he did love Tara, probably always would in some way because she was the mother of his son. But after Shea had returned and after their tryst this afternoon, he realized that all Tara had ever been for him was a buffer. A way to escape what was really eating away at him, what had really broken his heart all those years ago.

He had buried Shea in his mind and in his heart, to keep the pain out, to stop the hurting. In a way, he supposed he owed Tara an apology for that. Not that he would ever tell her any of this, but it was true. All this time, she had just been a stand-in for the woman who had taken Jax's heart when he was eighteen. And he had never really gotten it back. Until now.

Jax had just gotten himself a beer out of the refrigerator when he heard on a knock on the door. Sighing, he set the beer down on the end table next to the couch. He had told his mother he wanted to be alone and he would that perfectly clear once again. But when he opened the door, it wasn't his mother.


	16. Chapter 15

Shea had rehearsed what she was going to say the entire way up here. But now that she was standing right in front of him, seeing him in just jeans and a T-shirt, looking vulnerable and delicious, she found herself at a loss for words.

"My mother tell you I was here?"

It really wasn't a question. She was the only person he had told where he was going. He allowed Shea inside and closed the door. He smiled when he saw her looking around and how the memories were taking her over as well. Just as they had done to him.

"I haven't been here in so long…"

Jax nodded, leaning against the doorway between the living room and kitchen, still watching her. She looked around, inhaling the smell of the wood that the cabin was made out of. He could see the wistful expression and wished, for not the first time tonight, that Opie was still here.

"Beer?"

Shea shook her head. She had some things to say to him and she really wanted to say them before she lost her nerve. And beer wasn't going to help the situation. So she turned to face him and saw that he was staring, which made her self-conscious.

"What?"

Jax shook his head, taking a sip of his beer and smiling. "Just thinking that you a look a little different than when I saw you this afternoon."

This afternoon, when he had left her, she had been wrinkled and sated from their desk adventure. Since then, she had changed into jeans and a flowy top with flowers on it. She had put her hair up and changed her shoes to ballet flats. Jax thought she looked gorgeous.

"What are you doing here?"

Shea bit her bottom lip. "Where do I start?"

Good question, she thought. I don't know where to start this conversation. Or where the hell this conversation is going to go. But she knew she had to have it, one way or another.

"You're running. And I'm not gonna let you do that anymore."

Alright, so apparently brutal truth was what was happening here. She waited for him to get angry with her, to tell her that he wasn't running, to deny it. But he didn't. Instead, he took a sip of his beer and nodded in agreement.

"You're right, I was. This afternoon…freaked me the hell out. I didn't go there, intending for that to happen. You know that right?"

Shea nodded and said, "Me either." Although, she had hoped.

"I had to clear my head. I had to think about everything. When I made love to you today, I knew there was no turning back. That things between us were never going to be just "friendly" again. And I don't want them to be."

He set his beer down once again and took her hands in his. Then he shared his thoughts with her. Everything he had been thinking about himself, her, Tara, Abel, Thomas… Now she knew everything. And for Jax, it was liberating. He had never had anyone in his life know so much about him before. It was an incredible feeling.

Shea felt as though the floor might come out from beneath her, so she removed her hands from Jax's and took a deep breath. This was a lot to digest in one night, especially when she didn't expect it. So this is what the cabin did for Jax's head, huh? Wow.

Needing some air, she stepped out into the night air to see that Jax had left his campfire burning in the backyard. She remembered sitting around that same fire with him and her brother, her father, his friends, all telling stories and having a good time. She watched the flames leap into the air and became mesmerized, much like she was when she sat by the water.

"I know I kind of just laid it all out there for you. I'm sorry. But I feel a lot better."

Shea turned to him and then she smiled. "Well, I'm glad you feel better, Jax. It's about time."

He couldn't agree more. This had been a long-time coming and for the first time in a very long time, he didn't feel as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"My turn, though."

Jax raised his eyebrows. They were standing about two feet from one another, side by side, watching the fire. He searched her face for answers, but she revealed nothing in her expressions. Not right now.

"I never told you _why_ I was going to come back to Charming that September."

Jax nodded slowly, looking at her.

"Let me start by saying that I've loved you since I was sixteen years old. Just sixteen. I would watch you and want you and… I just loved you so much."

She swallowed and then brought her left wrist into his view. Jax looked at the tattoo she had there. The letter "J" on her pulse point in black ink. Simple, elegant, like her. But still sexy as hell.

"When did you get inked for me?"

Shea shrugged. "When I was sixteen, when I knew I was in love with you. Worked out well that Joey's name began with the same letter. He never asked questions."

Jax couldn't help but chuckle at that. Smart girl. Then, when he thought about it, the more he didn't like that Joey thought Shea would get tattooed for him. The asshole probably thought she had branded herself for him out of love. Jackass.

"I got it tattooed there because you were my life, my heart. You kept me alive. I know I was sixteen and stupid, but you meant so much to me. You were there for me through everything. And then you gave me the best night of my entire life."

She took a deep breath. "Which leads me to my second and final revelation, I promise."

A stray piece of hair had come out of her ponytail and she tucked it behind her ear.

"I was pregnant."

Jax felt the breath leave his lungs.

"When I found out, I didn't know what to do. I was so scared and alone… Joey was trying to be this big-shot and he didn't give a damn about me then. I just wanted to come home, to you. Then when I talked to Ope, my dreams were shattered. This little fairy tale I had in my mind of the three of us being a family…it was gone."

Jax stepped up to her then, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Shea, you should have told me."

She nodded, tears in her eyes. "I know. I know I should have. But it didn't matter because I lost the baby."

Jax pulled her to him and hugged her close as she began to cry. She had never told anyone about the baby, not even Joey. No one had been any the wiser until now and it felt great to finally be able to tell someone, especially Jax.

"I'm so sorry, Jax, so sorry.", She said, sobbing. Jax hugged her tighter to him and shook his head. "It's okay, Shea. I understand. I do." And hearing him say that, the sincerity in his voice, she knew he did understand and that he would love her regardless.

Shea pulled away, only a little, to look into his eyes. "It was a girl."

Jax's heart clenched at the thought of having lost a daughter. But none of that mattered now. The past didn't matter anymore. They were here now, together, and that was the way it was supposed to be.

Jax leaned down and kissed her softly. "I love you, Shea Winston."

Shea grinned and said, "I love you too, Jackson Teller."

They stood in front of the fire, arms wrapped around each other, foreheads touching, not saying a word. Shea wasn't sure how long they stayed like that. What she did know is that by the time they stopped, the fire was all but dead.

Jax smiled and took her hand. "What do you say we try a bed this time?"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Chapter 16 contains a really sweet love scene, just a forewarning for what's ahead. Thank you! :-)


	17. Chapter 16

THE BEDROOM WAS exactly as she remembered it. Jax turned on the small light on the night table and smiled at her. He sat down and beckoned her with a crook of his finger. Shea gave him a shy smile and went to him. She kissed him softly, loving with him with every fiber of her being.

While he watched, she removed her ballet flats and her shirt. When she began to undo the button on her jeans, he stopped her by putting his hand over hers. They locked eyes and Jax's hand continued where he made hers stop. He slid the denim over her hips and down her legs, where she stepped out of them. She had also changed her bra and panties. They were pink and lacy, very feminine, very sexy.

She reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, admiring his body as she dropped the shirt to the floor, to join the pile of clothes on the floor. She traced the letters of Abel's name that he tattooed just over his heart. That obviously hadn't been here when they had made love the first time. It made him that much more adorable to her.

Jax placed his hands on her butt and squeezed, eliciting a squeal from her as he pulled her closer. His face was level with her stomach and he placed a kiss there, looking up and meeting her eyes. They shared a knowing smile. Then, before she knew it, Jax had swung her around so that she was on the bed, on her back, with him above her.

He traced the lines of her face, as if to memorize them. He ran his index finger over her bottom lip, the lip she was always biting on, driving him crazy. Then he let his hand wander down her stomach and her hip to the crevice between her thighs. He heard her sharp intake of breath and smiled to himself. He slid her panties down and off before breathing hot air onto her abdomen and thighs. Shea ran her fingers through his hair, encouraging him.

Jax placed a moist kiss at her center and enjoyed her wiggle. When he began using his tongue, Shea began to squirm. But Jax used one of his hands to keep her relatively still while he went to work, swirling his tongue and nibbling with his teeth.

He remembered doing this when they were together that night. She had never had another guy do this, she had told him. He had been the first and that had thrilled him. Not to say that he hadn't done it since, but no woman compared to Shea. Her taste, her smell…it drove him crazy.

Shea bucked beneath him, her orgasm rapidly approaching. She moaned softly, not wanting to be too loud and wake Abel. Jax took all of her orgasm into his mouth, licking, sucking, loving every moment of it.

She was spent a moment later, letting go of the fistfuls of his hair that she had had. She peered down at him through veiled eyelids.

"Wow. You haven't lost your touch."

Jax grinned, removing his jeans, his boxers and her bra in a matter of seconds. Then he was laying next to her. "That was just a preview, sweetheart."

Shea returned his grin and rolled to her stomach, half on him, half on the bed. "Then I just cannot wait for the main attraction. But first, how about a little preview for you?"

Before he could object, to tell her that it wasn't necessary, she had taken him in her mouth. Her right hand squeezed his thigh, while the other tweaked one of his nipples. Jax thought he was going to lose his mind.

"Don't finish, don't finish."

Shea lifted her head up, confused. "What?"

He pulled her back up his body. "I wanna finish inside you."

Sexier words had never been spoken, in her opinion. So she kissed her way back up his body until she met his mouth. Then, once again, Jax flipped her over onto her back.

"Nothing between us this time. No more past. Just us, just our future."

Shea nodded in absolute agreement. Then Jax slid into her with expertise she knew only he possessed when it came to her body.

"You feel so good. You always feel so good."

She loved when he said things like that. Jax set the pace, going slow. He wanted to enjoy this, to spend forever here with her, like this.

Shea could feel it, agonizing pressure from having him inside of her and so close to the edge. She opened her eyes to see that he was looking down at her as he moved in and out of her body. She raised her leg to his hip and he gripped her.

"I love you.", She said, with more love in her heart than she had ever thought possible. One last stroke and that was it for her. She was a goner. She arched her back, giving him a different angle and Jax moaned in her ear and then whispered, "I love you too."

SHE WAS SORE, but in the best way possible. When she woke up, she found that she was alone in bed. Glancing at the clock beside her, she saw that it was only a little after nine a.m. Still, that was sleeping in for her.

Realizing she only had the clothes from last night, she slid her jeans on but saw that Jax's T-shirt was still on the floor. So she put that on instead of her shirt and walked into the living room. Out the window, she saw that Jax and Abel were outside together. They were sitting on the dock, with their fishing poles. There was silence, but they shared smiles every couple of minutes. Shea felt her heart constrict. God did she had it bad for this man.

She looked around the cabin to figure out what she could make them for breakfast. When she found what she was looking for, she got to work. The small radio on the other side of the kitchen was tuned into the only station they got out here, which was country. Shea swayed her hips to the music as she cooked.

As she was putting the last of breakfast onto a plate, she felt Jax's arms slide around her from behind and he placed a kiss on her neck.

"You can cook too, huh? Guess we'll have to keep you around then."

Shea turned in his arms and smiled. Then she saw Abel and smiled at him. "Good morning Abel. I hope you like pancakes."

Abel nodded, smiling shyly at her. She set the plate down in front of him and saw his face break into a grin. The pancakes were in the shape of Mickey Mouse's head. A trick she had learned from her father a very long time ago.

She handed Jax his plate, which had an omelet and some toast on it. "You need some protein for energy. You're gonna need it." Jax laughed and joined her and Abel at the small table in the corner of the kitchen.

As he began eating his breakfast, Jax couldn't help but smile to himself. This is what he wanted. A family, a home. The only thing that would be missing was his other son. But not for long. He was going to get him back. And it was going to be sooner rather than later.


	18. Chapter 17

"YOU LOOK AWFULLY chipper this morning. I suppose getting some on a regular basis helps that along, huh?"

Shea had returned home alone. But she hadn't remained that way for long. Everyone knew that she and Jax were now officially together and making a go of it. No one was more pleased to hear this than Gemma. Shea was exactly what her son needed.

"You're one to talk.", Shea replied, grinning up at Gemma from the desk. Gemma laughed and sat down across from her.

"How's it going?"

Shea put her pen down and sat back. "With the books or with Jax?" Gemma shrugged. "Either. Both." They shared a smile.

"The books look fantastic. Things are going great. And things with Jax are…" She couldn't help but smile. Things with Jax were fantastic. Their love was real, their love was forever. And the sex was ridiculously amazing.

"Things with Jax are wonderful."

Gemma grinned. "Good honey, I'm glad to hear it. You both deserve to be happy. At last." Shea couldn't help but agree.

She looked up then and saw Jax standing in the doorway. She smiled at him, but he didn't return it. Her brow furrowed and she asked, "What's wrong?"

Jax pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her. It was a legal document, a petition, for sole custody of Thomas. Tara had filed it in Portland and there was going to be a hearing one month from today.

"Are you frigin' kidding me with this?"

Shea and Jax shared a look at the flare of Gemma's temper. But it was rather hard for Jax to keep his temper in check as well. It was bad enough that Tara had taken Thomas all the way to Portland, but now she wanted _sole_ custody of their son? Over his dead body.

"Jax, tell me you are not going to let this happen."

Jax took the piece of paper back, balling it up and throwing it in the trash. "Of course I'm not, Mom. I thought, at the very least, that Tara and I could have joint custody of Thomas. But apparently, that wasn't enough for her. Now I'm pissed."

Shea couldn't imagine what he was going through. Thomas was his son too and Tara had seemed to forget that while she had been in Portland. Well, good thing Jax was going to be there to remind her.

"She won't let me see Thomas until then. She says it's not healthy for his psyche. Whatever the hell that means."

He could see his mother fuming. But no one was more pissed off than he was. She hadn't even talked about this with him. The court had just sent this letter and that was her way of letting him know. Who the hell did she think she was?

Shea stood and crossed to him. Jax wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. Thank God he had her now to help him deal with this.

"I just wanted to let you two know about this. I have a meeting with Henry Lin this afternoon."

Shea looked at him, worry crossing her features. "It'll be fine.", Jax assured her. "Just some last-minute details to iron out about our deal." She accepted that answer, trusting him.

"I'll see you tonight." Shea nodded, giving him a kiss and watching him leave. She then turned to Gemma, who was still fuming.

"I am so angry right now, I could spit nails."

"JAX, GOOD TO see you."

Jax extended his hand and shook with Henry. They shared a smile.

"Glad to see things are working out the way you want them to."

Jax smiled. "Me too. I assume things are fine on your end?" Henry nodded. "Absolutely. Very lucrative…for everyone involved."

Jax nodded, thinking about everything he had had to go through to get to this point with Henry, the IRA, the FBI, the CIA. It all gave him a headache. But everyone seemed to be pleased with the deal.

"Heard you've got yourself a new lady."

Jax raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, I do. All sorts of gossip, huh?"

Henry smiled and nodded. "Of course there is. Congratulations. On everything. And thanks Jax, for everything you've done. If we need you, we'll be in touch."

Jax watched Henry and his guys walk out of the warehouse. Then he returned back to his bike, where Bobby, Chibs and Tig were waiting. "Everything on the up and up, brother?", Bobby asked. Jax nodded, putting his helmet on and replied, "For now."

"HEY AUNT SHEA, what are you doing?"

She looked up from the computer to see Harry standing behind her. "Just surfing the internet, honey. What's up?"

Harry shrugged, sitting down on her bed. Shea sensed something was wrong. She joined him on the bed and put her arm around his shoulder. "Honey, if you need to talk to me about something, I'm always here to listen."

Harry's shoulders slumped. And then he was crying. Shea's heart broke at the sight. She wrapped him in a hug and he muttered, "I miss dad."

Shea took a breath and felt the tears sting her eyes. "I miss him too, sweetie. But we still have each other. And Ellie and May."

Harry looked up and asked, "And Jax?"

Shea smiled and nodded. "Yes, and Jax. And Abel and Gemma and Lyla and Piper… We all have each other to get through this. And you know that your dad wouldn't want us to sit here, crying over him. He'd tell us to suck it up." They shared a smile, knowing that was true. Then Shea took her nephew's hand.

"Let me show you something."

JAX WAS NEARLY home when his cell phone rang. He glanced at the number to see that it was Shea calling. He answered on the third ring. "What's up? Yeah, I know where that is. Right now? Okay. I'll be there in five minutes." He flipped the phone shut and, instead of taking a left at the corner, he took a right.

A few moments later, he found himself at the address Shea had given him. It was an old Victorian house on Chestnut Street. There was much work to be done on the outside, so Jax could only imagine what it looked like on the inside. His curiosity was definitely piqued.

Shea stood on the curb, waiting for him, alone. He greeted her with a kiss and then gestured to the house. "What's all this about?"

She took his hands in hers. "This is a fixer-upper, clearly. But it has six bedrooms inside, three bathrooms, a backyard and a two-car garage."

Jax was still not getting it. "I have some money left over and your mother and Nero offered to give me the rest, as a loan, of course."

Shea grasped his face in her hands. "I think this would be a wonderful place to start our lives together, Jax. A new house, for all of us. You, me, Ellie, Harry, Abel…and Thomas. This is where we start."

Jax was taken aback. This woman was just incredible. Too incredible for him, but she loved him. And that was a miracle in itself. He covered her hands, still on his face, with his own and grinned. "I say let's do it."


	19. Chapter 18

THE NEXT THREE and a half weeks flew by. Shea had put in an offer on the house and it was accepted immediately. So every night after work, she and the kids had been going to the house to work on it as much as they could. Of course, Chibs and Tig were there to help too. Bobby said he was there to supervise.

Shea could feel the tension in Jax's shoulders that night as she rubbed them. Harry had asked if Abel could spend the night and Jax and Shea had readily agreed. That meant that Jax would spend the night too.

He laid on the bed, on his stomach. Shea straddled him, resting her butt on his lower back as she kneaded and massaged the muscles in his shoulders and upper back.

"You're nervous about tomorrow."

She felt him tense up again. They were driving to Portland first thing in the morning to have the hearing for custody of Thomas. Shea knew he was nervous and she couldn't blame him. She was just wondering how she was going to control her temper tomorrow when she saw Dr. Tara Knowles.

"He's my son, babe. I need him with me."

Shea nodded knowingly. Jax missed Thomas more and more every day and it hurt Shea to see him in so much pain. There was no reason why Jax and Tara couldn't come to a mutual custody arrangement that benefited everyone involved.

Shea felt her hands start to cramp up, so she stopped massaging, but only for a moment. Jax took that opportunity to flip her over, so that he was on top of her. He ran his finger down her face tenderly, staring into her eyes.

"I love you Shea. I love you more than I could ever tell you."

Shea smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "I love you too, baby. Never, ever doubt that."

Jax smiled and said, "I never ever will." He looked down at her and said, "You're wearing too many clothes."

Shea propped herself up on her elbows. "Then why don't you do something about it?"

So he did.

THEY HAD BOTH needed some serious caffeine, being up this early to drive to Portland. Abel had stayed behind with Gemma and Ellie and Harry were going to spend the night with Gemma as well. Jax and Shea had decided to get a hotel room for the evening.

She glanced over at him. He was wearing khaki pants, a button-up dress shirt and dress shoes. Shea had even convinced him to shave his facial hair a bit. He looked so different to hear today, so ready to take on whatever they had to deal with in court.

"Have I told you that you look gorgeous today?"

Shea laughed and shook her head. She was also wearing dress pants and a really nice blouse, the nicest one she had in her closet. Her hair was down and she hadn't worn any makeup, wanting to look like the mother-figure that she was now.

"No, but thank you." He took her hand and kissed it.

Shea exhaled a breath and looked out the window. Her heart was hurting for Jax right now because she had no idea what the hell was going to happen. But it wasn't right that Tara was trying to keep him away from his son completely. There was no reason they couldn't agree on something.

Jax was no longer the man that Tara had left all those months ago. He was steady, he was legitimate, he was…happy. Shea was just hoping that the judge they dealt with today could see that. That they could see what a wonderful family man he was and what kind of life he could give Thomas, if only he was given the opportunity.

"I need to pee."

Jax smiled and said, "Typical woman." Shea smiled too as he pulled off the next exit and into a nearby gas station. This is a cute a little town, Shea thought, looking around as she got out of the car.

After she had washed her hands and exited the bathroom, she saw that Jax was standing outside near the car, having a cigarette. They were about an hour and a half away from Portland. The hearing was in three hours. Obviously Jax had made excellent time, most likely due to nerves.

Shea smiled to herself as she watched him. She loved his swagger, loved his attitude…even though she could see right through it.

Bells began chiming across the street as Shea made her way out to the car. Jax put the cigarette out and turned to her. "You ready?"

JUST SEEING HER made his blood boil and he couldn't help but think about how times had changed since he had seen her last.

For a moment, he thought Tara might try to talk to him, but she didn't get the chance. In this little room were him, Tara, Tara's lawyer and the female judge. He was surrounded by estrogen. Jax didn't have a lawyer. He didn't think he needed one.

"So, we are here today to discuss the issue of custody for Thomas Teller."

Jax felt her eyes on him and he avoided looking at her. He was afraid of what he would say if confronted.

Tara's lawyer began speaking. "Your honor, my client is requesting sole custody based on her ex-husband's past prison record and current status."

Jax clenched his fist under the table and exhaled a breath.

"I suppose being charged with conspiracy to commit murder isn't a serious charge, then…"

He thought he muttered it, but the judge heard him. The lawyer jumped right on him. "Those charges against Ms. Knowles were dropped, your honor."

Jax sighed. "Your honor, can I say something?"

The judge turned to Jax and nodded. "Of course you may, Mr. Teller."

Temper in check, Jax, temper in check. "I am a legitimate businessman now. Yes, I have made mistakes in my past. Who hasn't? Am I still a part of my motorcycle club? Yes and I am proud of that. But I also own my home, which I have been working to restore. If you drug tested me today, there would be nothing to find. The only bad habit I've held onto is smoking." The judge seemed to understand that because she nodded.

"I am a very capable father. I was raising my five-year-old son, Abel, by myself, since the divorce. Ask anyone, judge. I love my children and I would do anything for them. I'm trying to create a life that they can be proud of."

The judge appeared to look over paperwork and Tara wasn't saying anything. After a moment, the judge turned back to Jax.

"Mr. Teller, you say that you're a legitimate businessman. Can you prove this?"

Jax nodded, producing documents that Shea had prepared about how much money they were making, all of it legal. The judge took them and perused them, nodding as she did.

"Judge, I'd also like to point out that my ex-wife is a single mother, as well as a doctor. I can give Thomas a nuclear family, a healthy environment for him to grow up in." Tara scoffed and, once again, Jax had to rein in his temper.

"I am more than willing to work with Tara on joint custody. But you can't take my son away from me, your honor. It would kill me."

He fought back tears, not wanting anyone in this room to see him cry.

"You have a strong support system back in Charming, Mr. Teller?"

Jax nodded. "Yes, judge, I do. My club. My mother. And my wife."


	20. Chapter 19

Tara's head snapped up. Jax was surprised she didn't suffer from whiplash.

"You're re-married?"

Jax nodded. "Yes, judge, I am. She's a bookkeeper. She's raising two children on her own as well, her niece and nephew. We bought our current home together. We're a family. And I want Thomas to be a part of that family."

SHEA SAT ON hard bench outside the judge's office. It had been her idea to get married when they had stopped at the gas station. The town hall was right there, she and Jax were deeply in love and what better way to prove what a family man he was than to have a loving, devoted wife?

They hadn't had real rings, but Shea had gone back to the convenience store and purchased two plastic ones out of a quarter machine. Jax assured her she would get the real thing when they got home. She didn't give a damn. She had him and that's all that mattered.

The door opened then and Jax came out, a huge smile on his face. Shea released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Joint custody, babe."

He wrapped her in a hug and Shea grinned. She was so happy for him. She knew how much this meant to him. And there would be plenty of room for Thomas in their new home.

Suddenly, Shea felt a chill. She didn't have to wonder what it was for long because standing at the other end of the hall, staring daggers at her, was Tara.

Shea took a steadying breath, preparing herself for Tara's actions. She approached them and Jax linked his hand with Shea's.

"Shea."

They assessed each other and Shea responded with, "Hello Tara."

Tara narrowed her eyes. "I hear congratulations are in order."

Shea smiled at her new husband and nodded. "So they are. For many things. Marriage and joint custody."

She could tell by the look on Tara's face that she wasn't happy about this. She probably thought that she had had this in the bag. Well, think again doctor, Shea thought, satisfaction spreading through her.

"Guess you finally got you always wanted, huh?"

Shea squeezed Jax's hand. "I think we all did." Tara turned on her heel and stalked away. They watched her go before Jax took her in his arms again. They remained locked in an embrace for a few moments before Jax pulled away.

"Guess we should call Gemma." Shea nodded, knowing that her new mother-in-law must be chomping at the bit to find out what happened.

They walked down the corridor, hand-in-hand. "So what kind of arrangement is it?"

Jax sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "Not the best kind ever, but it's joint custody." He couldn't stress that enough. It was fifty-fifty, completely fair.

After they had called Gemma and told her the good news, they found their hotel. They were barely through the door before Jax pinned her up against the wall, kissing her fiercely.

"I don't think I've properly thanked you for everything you've done for me."

Shea laughed, she couldn't help it. Everything _she _had done for _him_? It was what they had done for each other.

"Well, I'm here, darlin'. So, by all means, thank away."

He kissed her again, for hours it seemed like. Shea pushed him back with her hands on his chest and smiled.

"You know, I feel awfully…dirty after all that driving. I think I could use a shower."

She removed her shoes. Then she took her shirt off, dropping to the floor at his feet. She unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to her feet and kicking it to the side. She reached behind her and undid her bra, letting it fall as well. Finally, she discarded her panties, standing before him naked.

With a twinkle in her eyes, she sashayed to the bathroom, glancing over her shoulder just once before closing the door.

Jax stared at the door as he heard the water start running. He couldn't believe that behind that door was his wife. His _wife_. Shea Winston was now Shea Teller. Well, if she wanted to be. Or Shea Winston-Teller. They hadn't really discussed that. There hadn't really been time.

He made quick work of getting rid of his clothes as well before striding to the door and knocking.

"Room service."

He opened the door a crack and smiled when she opened the shower curtain just a bit, giving him that come hither look that he had come to know so well. Stepping into the bathroom, he closed the door and got into the shower with her.

Steam enveloped them both as Shea wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You said you were room service."

Jax nodded, trailing his hand down her stomach to her moist center and inserting a finger. Shea leaned her bead back, under the spray. Jax swore he had never seen such a beautiful sight.

His finger continued to work as he said, "I believe you ordered some orgasms."

Shea nodded, not being able to speak when he had such magic hands. Jax turned her around so that his back was under the spray and Shea was pressed against the tiled wall. He quickly replaced his fingers with his throbbing member, pushing into her in one swift movement. Shea clutched at his shoulders, feeling the tension mount as Jax slid out and in and out and in again.

"You are so damn good at this.", She muttered. Jax hit a spot then that her crying out as she came in one magnificent moment. Jax followed her, his cries mingling with her own as the steam surrounded them.

Spent, Jax leaned against her, trying to not put too much of his weight on her. Shea didn't care. She could barely see straight at the moment.

"I love you, babe."

Shea smiled and said, "I love you more."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Believe me when I say that my husband just LOVES when I write these parts of my stories, because he gets the benefits. :-) I adore you all so much for reading and reviewing. You guys are my heart. Love love love. :-)


	21. Chapter 20

LIVING APART WAS getting harder and harder. They were still renovating the house and it was coming along great. Jax had never realized what a fantastic outlet working on the houe could be. If he had a rough day, he would go knock down a wall at the new house. And Shea was the same way. If she had a rough day, she would go to the new house and paint a room.

It had been two months since the judge in Portland had granted Jax joint custody of Thomas. He and Tara had barely spoken, other than to "exchange" their son. Saturday was their day to travel. And they alternated having Thomas every other week. As Jax had pointed out, it wasn't the best system, but it was good. For now.

They had really turned into a family unit. But not being able to see each other every day and not being able to sleep in the same bed as your wife was getting more and more difficult as the days wore on. Jax and Abel usually ate dinner at Shea's house, but then they would go home.

Not that they didn't find time for each other. They saw each other when Shea was at work. Gemma was still having family dinners, so they saw each other then too. But neither one could wait until the house was finished. Jax figured it would only be a few more weeks, with all the work he and some of the guys were putting in.

"Hey Jackie-Boy."

Jax looked up and smiled at Chibs. Chibs joined him on the couch and leaned back. "How's business?"

They both looked around the establishment and both men smiled. Clearly, business was good. Nero sure as hell knew what he was doing. Jax thought it was probably one of the better decisions he had made, going into business with him.

"How's Shea? Or should I say, Mrs. Winston-Teller?"

Shea had informed him shortly after they had gotten married that she was going to hyphenate the two last names. She wanted to keep Winston because Ellie and Harry still had that name and it was a part of all of them. Jax understood. He thought Winston-Teller had a cool ring to it.

At the mention of his wife, Jax let his gaze wander over to the office, where the door was ajar. He saw her sitting at the desk, crunching numbers. He loved the way her forehead got scrunched when she was trying to figure something out. It made him smile.

"She's good, Chibs. We're good. Things are…good."

He shared a smile with the older man and Chibs punched him playfully in the shoulder.

"What do you think Opie would say?"

That was something Jax thought about often enough. He was wondering what Opie would say, how he would feel about his best friend being married to his sister. He hoped Opie looked down on them from time to time and smiled because he knew they made each other happy.

"I think he'd be cool. He loved me, he loved Shea…"

Chibs nodded, smiling as he watched Jax watch Shea. Young love, he thought, shaking his head. He remembered when he was in love. What a feeling.

"If you'll excuse me."

Chibs nodded knowingly and watched Jax get up from the couch and walk to the office. He knocked on the door and smiled when she looked up from her computer.

"Hey you. Come in."

Jax entered and closed the door.

"Thought I'd come in and steal a kiss."

Shea grinned and stood, leaning over the desk to oblige him. Jax's lips lingered on hers and he smiled as he pulled away.

"You okay? You looked tired."

Shea sat back down. "Yeah, I am. It has been a long week. But I'm headed over to the new house tonight with Ellie to paint her room. One more room down." They shared a smile.

"Okay. I have church tonight, but I can meet you there afterwards."

Shea nodded and smiled up at him. "Sounds good to me. I'll see you there." He leaned forward again to kiss her. Before it could quickly get out of hand, which it had a tendency to do, Shea pulled away. "Love you." Jax opened the door, glanced back at her to say, "I love you too" and was gone.

THE HOUSE LOOKED amazing compared to when they had first stepped inside it. So much work had gone into it already and there was still more to do. But Shea loved it. It was theirs and they knew it. They were going to be a family here.

"Alright, you ready to do this?"

Ellie smiled and nodded, picking up a paintbrush. "Yup. I can't wait until we can actually move in here. It's gonna be awesome."

Hearing the enthusiasm in her niece's voice made Shea smile. She and Harry both seemed really happy about this new house. Shea had hoped it was a stepping stone in healing their hearts. A place they could come and feel safe.

"I'm gonna go get the radio."

She walked out of the room, slipping her hair into a ponytail. After work, she had changed into jeans and a T-shirt that she didn't mind getting paint on. As she made her way into the kitchen where they kept the radio they used, there was a knock on the door.

It wasn't like Jax to knock. Must have forgotten his key. She just shook her head, smiling to herself. Until she reached the door and muttered, "Oh, fuck my life."


	22. Chapter 21

He stood against the door, a smug smile on his face. "Not excited to see me, sweet cheeks?"

She had always hated that nickname and had refused to answer to it when he used it. Prison hadn't made him any worse for the wear, she saw, taking in his appearance. Faded jeans, a Metallica t-shirt, work boots. He actually looked good.

"Not particularly, Joey. What are you doing here?"

He shrugged and smiled some more. "I just got out. Thought I'd come home and see my girl."

Shea folded her arms across her chest. "This is not your home anymore and I am, in no way, your girl. We're divorced and we have been for awhile. Or did one of the correction's officers forget to give you the papers?"

Joey pushed away from the door and shrugged. "Yeah, I got 'em. I just thought you were pissed."

Shea laughed to herself. "Of course I was pissed. I went to jail because of you. I did time _for_ you."

Joey nodded. "Just proves that you used to love me, Shea. Come on, we used to be good together, didn't we?"

Had they had their good times? Absolutely. She wouldn't have stayed with him for so long or kept going back to him if they hadn't. But toward the end, the bad times far outweighed the good and that's why she had had to get out.

"Used to be is the key phrase in that sentence, Joey. We were toxic together, you know this. And you can't be here. You just can't. You have to go."

Joey remained immovable. "I miss you, Shea. I want you to come home with me. I'm done doing time, I'm done with crime. And I want you with me."

This is not happening, she thought, shaking her head. He was not here, doing this to her right now. Hadn't he messed with her life enough? The last thing she needed was him invading this life that she had for herself now.

She felt the nausea surging through her body. She looked at Joey and covered her hand with her mouth, rushing toward the bathroom that was on the first floor. Not bothering to shut the door, she flipped the toilet lid up and proceeded to vomit.

After a few minutes, she sat back and closed her eyes, sighing. Damn him. She didn't need this right now. But when she got stressed, her stomach was the body part to deal with it.

There was a small knock on the door as she was brushing her teeth. She looked up and smiled at Ellie, who stood there with a glass of water and a Tums. "Thanks honey." Ellie nodded and leaned closer. "Is that Joey?"

Shea sighed, chewing the Tums and swallowing the chalky substance with a gulp of water. Her stomach felt a little bit calmer. "Yes, it is. And don't worry, he's leaving." Ellie nodded. "I'll just get started painting without you. I'll be upstairs if you need me."

Shea smiled at her as she left and then splashed some water on her face. She gauged her reflection in the mirror. Not half bad for a woman who had just puked her guts out. Now, time to get rid of her ex-husband once and for all.

"Feeling better, sweet cheeks?"

Shea narrowed her eyes and set her glass of water down. Joey sat on one of the stools at the breakfast bar in the kitchen.

"Call me that one more time and I will vomit on you the next time."

Joey smiled and said, "See you haven't lost your spunk."

Shea sighed. "Joey, we are over. We have been over. I have a life here. I'm raising Ellie and Harry. You never wanted children. So, can you just leave?"

Joey stood and crossed to her. He ran a finger over her lips.

"You don't miss me? Just a little?"

There had been a time, when she had first moved back here, that she thought maybe she had made a mistake leaving Joey. He was all she had known for so long. But once she had gotten to know Jax again and realized that he loved her too, all of that had changed.

"I don't miss you, Joey. I'll always love you, I will. But…I'm happy here. I have a life here. I have a family. Go home, Joey. Go back to your own life."

Joey sighed and shook his head. "Okay. I'll go if you want me to."

He made his way toward the door. When he reached the doorway, he turned to face her. "Come on Shea. Kiss me goodbye."

Shea felt her resolve weaken and sighed. So she let her ex-husband kiss her softly on the lips. And she felt nothing. Not a speck of remorse or regret or affection.

"Am I interrupting something?"


	23. Chapter 22

Usually she heard the roar of a motorcycle, announcing his arrival. Of course, this time, she had been a little preoccupied.

"No, you're not. Joey was just leaving."

Although it didn't look that way. Joey was shaking his head and muttering, "Teller. I cannot believe you're screwin' Teller."

Shea saw Jax's hands ball into fists at his side as he walked up the front sidewalk toward them. She held her hands up.

"Jax, he's not worth the fight."

For a moment, the two men stared each other down. This is fun, Shea thought. I've always wanted to be in the middle of a classic pissing contest.

Jax stared at the man standing in front of him, not sure whether he wanted to clock him or shake his hand. He wanted to clock him for being the cause of Shea's pain and taking her away from Jax all those years ago.

But he wanted to shake his hand for being smart enough to let her go. Because now she was with Jax and that's where she belonged. And in that moment, Jax knew how much had grown as a man. Before, he wouldn't have thought twice about getting into a scrapping match with this idiot. Now, he had other priorities and things to worry about.

So he stepped past Joey and stood with Shea on the front porch, draping his arm around her shoulder. Shea held her head high.

"I'm not screwing him, Joey. He's my husband."

The news shocked Joey, that much was obvious by the look on his face. He looked back and forth between Jax and Shea, almost as though he wanted to determine whether or not they were telling the truth. Jax hugged his wife tight to him.

Then, Joey did something that shocked Shea. He extended his hand to Jax. Eyebrows raised, Jax shook Joey's hand.

"Take good care of her, Teller. She's a great girl. Don't make my mistakes."

Shea watched him walk away, off down the street and she exhaled a breath. She looked up at Jax and said, "I'm sorry."

Jax smiled and shook his head. "It's okay, baby. He got a goodbye kiss. Now where's my hello kiss?"

Shea grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his. Jax pulled her tighter against him. After a few moments, a cough broke them apart. They both smiled as Harry walked toward them, May beside him on her leash.

"Do you guys always have to kiss so much?"

Jax laughed and nodded. "Sorry little man, but it's a necessity. You'll learn. Someday." Shea shook her head and added, "But not anytime soon."

TWO WEEKS LATER, the house was mere days away from being finished. Jax couldn't wait to show Abel his new room. He and Harry had painted it for him a few days ago. It was blue and green and decorated with dinosaurs. Jax knew his son was going to love it.

Business was doing great and things were settling into a normal routine. Jax never thought he'd get so much pleasure from a routine. But it was nice.

The office was empty when he went in, which surprised him. Shea was usually here. He looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was a little after three. She was usually here for at least another hour.

"Hey baby."

He looked up and smiled at his mother. She leaned forward and gave him a kiss. "I've got some news."

Jax raised his eyebrows. "Really? What is it?"

Gemma grinned as she said, "Nero asked me to marry him."

Jax couldn't help but smile as well. His mother seemed genuinely happy about that, which must have meant she had said yes. Jax wrapped her in a hug.

"Congratulations, Mom. I'm happy for you. Really."

Gemma smiled. "We're gonna wait for awhile. But…I'm happy, honey. I'm really happy."

Jax could tell as much. It was about time that his mother had some happiness in her life. He pulled back and looked around the room again.

"She left twenty minutes ago."

Jax took a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. "Any idea where she went?"

Gemma nodded slowly. "Said she was going to visit Ope."

A BREEZE SWEPT over her and she felt herself shiver a little. She stared at her brother's grave and smiled a sad smile. She had been standing here for over ten minutes, having a conversation with him. Well, really with herself, but she liked to pretend it was with Opie.

She told him everthing. Everything that had been going on since she had been back. She wished she could tell him to his face. Hell, she wished she could just have five minutes with him. And, if nothing else, she wanted to hug him and say goodbye.

"I miss you, Ope. I miss your laugh. I miss your smile. I miss your beard. I just miss you."

Shea felt the tears sting her eyes and she wanted to will them away. But as she felt them start to fall, she realized this was something she needed. And then she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind. And she realized he was something she needed too.

Turning his arms, she buried her face in his chest, letting the tears fall. Jax held her tight, letting her cry. He stared at the grave behind her and said a silent prayer to his best friend.

After a few moments, Shea pulled away and said, "Thanks." Jax smiled, wiping away the last falling tear. "It's what I'm here for, babe."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and they stayed in silence for a moment.

"Why'd you feel like coming here today?"

Shea looked at him. "I had something important to tell Opie."

Jax looked down at her. "And what was that?"

She took a deep breath and tightened her hold on him. "I'm pregnant."

Jax felt the grin spread across his entire face. His wife was pregnant. They were going to have a baby of their own. Abel and Thomas were going to have a little brother or sister. He was stunned into silence, but the best kind of silence.

"You okay with this?"

Jax placed a kiss on the top of her head. "At least we know we have enough bedrooms." That made Shea laugh.

"We're gonna have a baby."

She had been saying it in her head for weeks, but saying it out loud, first to her brother and then to her husband, made it seem all the more real. She and Jax were going to have a baby. Together. It was incredible.

Jax tilted her chin up toward him and kissed her. "I love you Shea Winston-Teller." She smiled and said, "I love you too Jackson Teller. And I love this baby." He put a hand on her still-flat belly and smiled at her.

"It's us forever now."

Shea nodded, placing her hand on top of his. "Forever."


	24. EPILOGUE

TWO YEARS HAD past. Things in the Winston-Teller household were chaotic, but wonderful. Ellie had just had her fourteenth birthday. Harry was looking forward to entering double digits. Abel was really enjoying school. And Thomas was definitely entering his "terrible three's" phase.

John Piermont Teller was born happy and healthy and had just turned 11 months old. Everyone called him J.P. He was the perfect mix of Jax and Shea, everyone said so.

Today, they were preparing for Gemma and Nero's nuptials. Shea looked over herself in the mirror again. She sighed and made a face just as she noticed Jax's face appear behind her, in the doorway.

"You almost ready?"

Shea sighed, but nodded. "Sure. I guess this is as good as it's gonna get."

Jax laughed and put his hands on her shoulders, staring at their reflection in the mirror. "You look gorgeous, as always."

Shea narrowed her eyes, but said nothing. Harry appeared in the doorway next. "We're gonna be late!"

They made their way downstairs, where Abel was holding Thomas's hand at the door, waiting for them to drive over to the new home that Gemma and Nero had bought together. It had a huge yard, which was where they were having their outdoor ceremony and reception. Nero's son had even been given a day pass to attend, with some help of course.

When they arrived, Gemma was waiting with a grin on her face. "So glad you guys decided you could make it."

Shea sighed and shook her head. "We're sorry. It takes a lot for this family to get ready."

Gemma laughed and gave her daughter-in-law a hug. She understood. She was just glad that her entire family could be here. Especially Thomas, since this was technically Tara's week. But ever since she had started dating a fellow doctor at her hospital, she had been just a bit more lenient on the custody schedule.

"Well, we're about to start. Come on."

She took one of Abel's hands in hers and Thomas's in the other and led them out to the backyard through the kitchen.

Jax flashed a smile to Tig, who had already started drinking. Bobby also had a beer in his hand and Chibs was smoking a cigarette. Jax was glad they could all be here today. He knew how much it meant to his mother. And it sure as hell meant a lot to him.

Jax took the boys to sit down with Juice and Janelle. Then he gave his wife a quick kiss on the lips and went to stand beside Nero. Shea and Ellie joined Gemma underneath the trelice as well. Gemma had said she didn't need to walk up an aisle, so there wasn't one.

As Gemma and Nero began reciting their vows, Shea and Jax shared a look and a smile. Before they knew it, the ceremony was over and Gemma was announcing to their guests that it was time to party.

Jax extended his hand to his wife. "May I have this dance?" Shea accepted with a smile. A slow Eagles song began to play and they danced.

"You okay?"

Shea nodded, leaning her head on her husbands shoulder. She was just tired. They had only been here for a little while and already she was tired. Oy.

"I think you look beautiful."

That hadn't been what she was thinking about, but she appreciated that he would say that. Jax leaned forward, cupping her face and kissing.

"Mmm… Mmm…"

Jax pulled back, smiling. Then he noticed the look on her face. He didn't need to ask what was wrong – he already knew.

"Mom! Mom!"

Gemma stopped dancing with her new husband.

"It's time. We've gotta go."

Gemma shook her head and smiled. "Had to steal my thunder, didn't ya'?"

Shea sighed and, with gritted teeth, muttered, "Sorry."

THE PARTY WAS still going back at the house, but half of the guests were sitting in the waiting room on the maternity floor of St. Thomas Hospital. There had been no news in about an hour and they were all starting to get antsy.

Just after J.P. had turned two months old, Shea found out she was pregnant again. Jax had immediately had a vasectomy, both he and Shea agreeing that six children between the two of them was quite enough. Besides, they were running out of room.

They had thought it was cool, though, that J.P. and the new baby would be Irish twins, only a little less than a year apart. And they had never found out the sex of the new baby, having wanted it to be a surprise.

Nero reached over and clasped his new wife's hand, knowing how anxious she was to find out about her new grandchild. The truth was, he was anxious too. Shea and Jax were like his daughter and son. Their children were like his grandchildren. It was an amazing feeling, having a family.

Right then, Jax came through the doors, a smile on his face. Gemma stood, looking at her son, waiting.

"Follow me.", Was all he said. When he saw that no one was moving, he looked at them and said, "Everyone."

So they all did as he asked, following him single file down the hall, to a glass window. When you looked inside, you could see all of the babies in the nursery. Jax smiled at Shea through the glass. She was sitting in a wheelchair, per doctor's orders, holding their newest addition. She motioned for Jax and he left the group.

He returned a moment later, pushing the wheelchair with Shea and the baby in it. Shea looked up at her mother-in-law.

"She didn't mean to steal your thunder."

It was a girl. Gemma felt the tears well up in her eyes. She had a granddaughter. It was true, she already had Ellie, but she had missed so much with her. With this baby girl, she would be there from the beginning.

"Gemma, we want you to meet your granddaughter. This is Violet Gemma Teller."

The tears started flowing freely. They had even giver her granddaughter her name as a middle name. Gemma was overcome with emotion. What a day.

"Would you like to hold her?"

Gemma held her arms out and took the precious baby from Shea. When she looked down at her, at how perfect and innocent she was, she smiled. Then she looked at Shea and Jax and said, "Thank you."

Jax took his wife's hand and kissed it. This was what life was all about, moments like this. Knowing you had a brand new baby with the person you loved most in the world. Jax couldn't remember a time he had ever felt this content.

Jax looked over to see that Chibs and Tig were actually cooing over his daughter. And Bobby was the one who said, "No man will ever be good enough for you, Princess."

Jax actually felt bad for his daughter at that moment. There were going to be so many men looking out for her, it would be ridiculous.

"We finally got the daughter we were always meant to have."

Jax grinned when Shea said that, having been thinking the same thing.

"And that's it."

He'd been thinking that too.

"Love you, babe." He leaned down, kissed her softly and said, "Love you more."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Alright kids, that's all she wrote. For this story, anyway. I really love all of you for reading and reviewing and favoriting. It means the world to me. It makes me wanna keep writing. So thank you for being my encouragement, my muses, my reasons to put my fingers to the keys and let my imagination take me...wherever. Much love to all of you. :-)


	25. AUTHOR'S REQUEST FOR HELP!

Hello everyone! I am writing this at the end of "Third Time Lucky" in the hopes that you all will read it and be able to help me. I have another story in my head that I want to start IMMEDIATELY. But I need help from all of my other "Sons Of Anarchy" fans! The story I am thinking of writing will be like my version of Season 4. So, up until that point, I need to know all I can about Otto Delaney, as he plays an integral part of my new story. Without such information, I can't start writing. :-( I have the seasons on DVD, but have no time to watch ALL of them to re-familiarize myself with what went on in seasons 1-3, particularly with Otto. Anyone who can help me with this will be my HERO. Thanks in advance. Much love! :-)


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